I've read a couple books by Ayn Rand, and I find myself completely unable to stomach that much willful stupidity. Note to Rand: Human beings do not work that way!
It's all fun and Games until someone loses a tooth...then it's hockey!!
Instant human! Just add coffee.
Anger the French. Make tacos.
Celebrate life with ketchup!
Worry is the first time you can't do it a second time; panic is the second time you can't do it the first time.
You HAD to get the hot dog.
I solemnly swear that I shall lead the paper to victory over its enemy, the scissors.
If the shoe fits, beat someone senseless with it.
White guy. Can't dunk.
(On a T-shirt) Who are you and why are you reading my shirt?
I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication.
I do not have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down. I wake up three days later. No problem.
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Constipated people don't give a crap.
How many vegetables had to die to make your salad!?
Give me liberty, or give me a bran muffin!
Granola. Granola solves everything.