Why do jerks and creeps keep getting the girls

[durendal]

First off, I'm not really sure if I am posting this in the right section. Please feel free to move or delete should the contents be inappropriate or offensive.

Well, like the topic says, why do jerks and creeps keep getting the girl when they are totally annoying or irritating. I may have a theory on this. Of course this may not be 100% true for all, or may not be true at all. I thought that maybe for some reason, those girls wanted to stay with those kind of People is probably insecurity. Not in the sense that the guy could protect the girl, but rather the girl would feel secure that the guy they are going out with would repel certain competition. That perhaps there is a certain instinct that a girl has that would instantly react to anyone who gets close to his guy. Call this jealousy or something. It's like they would rather everyone hate her guy than everyone liking him. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

[*Jess♥]

well if i am completely honest...

I mean, not a word of a lie here...

most People that i meet that are interested in guys tell me that I am very attrctive and very nice and genuine etc.

now obviously i don't think so when i look in the mirror... i don';t think many People could truthfully say that they are these things...

but what winds me up is that when they say these things.. I am thinking.. well why the hell do i not have a girlfriend?

I end up thinking that they are basically lying to me...

but then... that many People who don't know each other can't all lie about the same thng,, it's not as if I ask them to say it.

what I think it is... is that because i am a nice person, I'm not pushy.. I'm not ultra competetive and i am not gonna drenn on another guys chances.

the jerks will. they will do anything to get in there. and that is why.

[durendal]

That exactly gives merit to my assumption. Girls don't want to date nice guys because they know that there are other girls who would like a nice guy. And if there are other girls liking the nice guy, chances are, the nice guy might run off with the next girl he meets. Now, if they are dating jerks and creeps, they wouldn't worry about other girls getting to him because he's a complete jerk and nobody would like him. And yet, that complete jerk chases other girls when he already has a nice girlfriend. Of course this may not be what the girls are thinking, but it might be what they think in a subconcious level. This is just a theory though.

[Guest UG's other half]

That exactly gives merit to my assumption. Girls don't want to date nice guys because they know that there are other girls who would like a nice guy. And if there are other girls liking the nice guy, chances are, the nice guy might run off with the next girl he meets. Now, if they are dating jerks and creeps, they wouldn't worry about other girls getting to him because he's a complete jerk and nobody would like him. And yet, that complete jerk chases other girls when he already has a nice girlfriend. Of course this may not be what the girls are thinking, but it might be what they think in a subconcious level. This is just a theory though.

Actually in some cases girls dont know they are jerks and creeps till a few weeks after they go out with them or some even wait till they are married and then they find out

some enjoy these type of guys which to me seems stupid as they can find so much better like me but really you cant pick and choose who a girl goes with and a girl cant pick and choose who a guy goes with

some decide to leave them others dont for different reasons such as abuse e.g. windows being put out etc

a majority of girls do like nice men others care to be different but like i said some dont relise exactly what they are till it's too late and that they are married like my parents

[Super Existence]

I actually had a revelation when it came to women (probably not all but a lot).

My mate was really into this girl who was mate of his and he told me about it and I felt for him because about eight years ago I was in the same position and its a pain in the arse.

Anyway.

He told me one time he felt like he should lean over and kiss her, he didn't, nothing happened I told him he'd buggered up but its easy to say that he also said he planned on just telling her how he felt I did that in the same position eight years ago and it wll went tits up.

So he told how he felt, said he loved blah, blah, blah and she then went cold fish on him and acted totally disinterested.

She then went an got together with his best mate about two months later.

Why?

It's simple, he gave her the opportunity to think about it and dismiss him.

A lot of girls especially some of the ones I've been with cannot help themselves when a bloke kisses them if there is some attraction there, they will lie back and let it happen and it's all downhill from there. Tell a girl how you feel and then walk away and she has time to think about a million different reasons why she shouldn't do it.

It's not nice guys finish last it's forthright guys come first.

I've seen some of the geeky gimbos on the planet get girls I mean really dweeby little slugs who think they're all that and do get girls, why? Because they dont give them time to think when they get the signal they make the move and get results.

I know some total gits who never get girls because they aren't pushy enough.

It's how I work from now on anyway, I'll NEVER pour my heart out to a girl again I'll just try it on if it feels right.

From my experience it's what a lot of women want to feel like they're so irresistable that you cant help your self.

I'm not saying this is just women who's done this, I caught myself doing it one time when I heard from a girls mate she was on my case. Now if she'd have come over and made a move I would have recipricated but because I was asked I thought about it then realised I couldnt be bothered. I actually kicked myself afterwards cause she wasn't too bad but there you go human nature, just be brave enough to make a move when you get the opportunity it does work at, least for me anyway.

Edited May 9, 2007 by Super Existence

[*Jess♥]

yeah i can totally dig that SE.

I really feel where you're coming from there.

I mean, I said my bit before... but that was just a straight forwards way of looking at it...

thats how i have thought in the past...

and I have thought on it a lot.

I think the best way to react in any situation is to kinda... close your eyes and feel your way along. I don't mean this literally of course. this is a very strong metaphor.

just coast it.

go with the flow.. try and get into situations where things can happen. and if it feels right, just do it.

I made the mistake of talking about my feelings a lot of times in the past.

it never works. it makes you feel wierd... makes you choke on your spit and makes her feel a little creeped out.

I don't think it has anything to do with being a jerk or not.

It's about confidence. and instinct.

being able to act on your instincts.

I only say this because of a situation that has cropped up recently...

and I am finding that this kind of attitude works well. it is hard because you have to try and balance how you feel and also try and read signals and then guage what is a good thing to do..

In many ways.. I think it's daft to talk about your feelings because a lot of the time your feelings are all lies.

[Guest DekaRed]

you are so right.

i am neither a jerk, or a creep, and i completely unsderstand wat u're saying about jus goin for it

i never had much luck till i developed a new attitude in my youth, this was "jus do it"

now i know too much chat messes things up. instincts rule!

[largo]

Not tring to put anyone down here but lets face it for the most part this site is nothing more then a large gathering geeks.

[*Jess♥]

I strongly disagree.

just because People can be enthusiastic about something, it does not make them geeks.

I am certainly not a geek and anybody who knows me will tell you the same.

and anybody that I know personally on this site is certainly not a geek either.

not a single one.

of course there will be one or two People who may be classified as geeks.. but then there is no way of knowing until I meet that person 'in person'.

EDIT:

but it depends on wether you are using the derogatory definition of geek or the technical descriptive term.

my initial reaction was that you were using it in a derogatory fashion and describing 'geek' as a quality that is unattractive to women.

that is what I disagree with.

of couse, if we take the other definition that a geek is a imaginitive and learned individual then lots of People here are like that.

[durendal]

Well, to be honest, I originally made this topic because of past experiences. You see, my girlfriend easily gets jealous. Everytime that she see's a girl being nice to me, she always have this assumption that that girl likes me and kinda gets irritated with the girl. It's like she doesn't want any girl to like me. Of course she doesn't apply this to every girl, just every girl that she doesn't know. And I also have a few friends who have idiotic boyfriends. I mean, they two-time, ignore their girl friends, are self centered. You know, the typical jerks and yet the girl is nice and sweet to any girl that gets near their boyfriend. So it just kinda came together. Like I said, this is just a theory and in no way is a proven fact about women.

[Super Existence]

I think a lot of girls have a mega hard time picturing someone better than what they have, My Ex went out with this guy who was a first class dick with her, I asked her why she stuck it out with her and she said to me,

'Well better the devil you know really.'

So in her mind all guys where gits and she was better off with a git she was familiar with.

But I cant blame a lot of girls for feeling this way when they've been shat on so many times by guys they will feel that way but for some reason it never occurs to them to just be single.

Some People find it so difficult to just be alone I have no idea why I love spending time on my own and get irritated if I don't.

[Toku Warrior]

These are all good things too know in life as most People that are members here that are of a young age might not know about this yet so it's a good way to help them learn with anothers personal experience in life. Now as for the part where instinct vs. tell them how you feel....yes instinct is usually best cuz ya got a 60-40 chance of it working in your favor. But remember, some people, guys and girls, like being told how you feel about them.

Now what about those picly people. ya know, the ones who decide if they like ya based on your looks, inteligence, maturity level, personality, etc...I can't really stand thjose kinda people. Sure everyone is like that in a certain way but I'm referring to the ones that take it too far.

[Super Existence]

I think you can't tell anyone how to deal with the situation, you sometimes have to make the mistakes to realise. I had a lot of peope tell me when I was screwing up but I thought I knew better, now I know back then I knew nothing.

That's why mistakes are great because they teach you better than any other way and once you've made it (hopefully) you won't make it again.

I don't have any regrets because all the mistakes I have made have made me the person I am today, if I had avoided them I might be a weaker person.

[Toku Warrior]

Wise words from a experienced fellow. :wink:

[KING GHIDORAH]

First off, I'm not really sure if I am posting this in the right section. Please feel free to move or delete should the contents be inappropriate or offensive.

Well, like the topic says, why do jerks and creeps keep getting the girl when they are totally annoying or irritating. I may have a theory on this. Of course this may not be 100% true for all, or may not be true at all. I thought that maybe for some reason, those girls wanted to stay with those kind of People is probably insecurity. Not in the sense that the guy could protect the girl, but rather the girl would feel secure that the guy they are going out with would repel certain competition. That perhaps there is a certain instinct that a girl has that would instantly react to anyone who gets close to his guy. Call this jealousy or something. It's like they would rather everyone hate her guy than everyone liking him. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

I get what your talking about.

Well I can answer your question, but if anyone has said this before I the king, give them the credit. Its rather simple, They are being themselves, just like there mothers told them.

I think you can't tell anyone how to deal with the situation, you sometimes have to make the mistakes to realise. I had a lot of peope tell me when I was screwing up but I thought I knew better, now I know back then I knew nothing.

That's why mistakes are great because they teach you better than any other way and once you've made it (hopefully) you won't make it again.

I don't have any regrets because all the mistakes I have made have made me the person I am today, if I had avoided them I might be a weaker person.

I agree.

[Guest Mister10]

Read this. Seriously. This is not spam. This is a genuine resource that will either encourage you to get on with the male/female social interaction part of your life, or even just satisfy your interest.

http://www.pickupguide.com/

With a name like that it sounds like a spam-filled load of crap. But it's not. Take a chance. What have you got to lose?

[Wiedergänger]

Read this. Seriously. This is not spam. This is a genuine resource that will either encourage you to get on with the male/female social interaction part of your life, or even just satisfy your interest.

http://www.pickupguide.com/

With a name like that it sounds like a spam-filled load of crap. But it's not. Take a chance. What have you got to lose?

Do you really think it so that there are guidelines...

[Guest Melissa]

Well my opinion is that some girls(like myself...even though I deny it....) don't either know how to say no or just don't know the guy too well. My ex was a creep and after I found out I promptly broke up with him.

[Guest asdasd]

Girls find 'jerks' attractive. They like to be put in there place and made to feel small and stupid. Your probably thinking "I'm a nice guy, why don't I have a girlfriend?” The truth is girls don't like nice guys, unless their pregnant or they need a visa. Also you are a nerd.

[*V Guyver]

wow, old topic.

Well from my experience, it's because jerks assert themselves where as nice guys tend not to.

For example, being a nice guy, I'd normally ask and do what the girl would want to do. But an assertive guy, including jerks would instead tell them "Hey, let's go to the movies."

When girls tell you they want a nice guy, it's true. But what they don't tell you is they want an assertive guy. Doesn't matter too much if he's a nerd or jerk so long as he is assertive. Of course, an nice assertive guy who say "okay then, what do you want to do instead/go to?" when she refuses to do what the guy said or suggested. A Jerk of course is intolerable that he demands you do everything he says.

In highschool, I only ever dated 1 chick, I dumped her after the second date (She was the assertive one) and never bothered dating again. Although I AM a geek, I still had the attention of girls in school. I had been flashed in and out of class, stalked, dragged into the girls bathroom, been molested by passing females, and chased around the school at least once. I'm not attractive, nor the assertive type, but I guess they had some quality of mine they liked. Sort of like how everyone in school thought I was scary and silent, not even the gang members in my school picked fights with me. I do have one defective mentality, I don't let girls near me, not for relationships since I'm not comfortable with myself, also a man is supposed to take care of a lady, I can't take care of myself the least. Well, that's not entirely true, I'm talking care of my family, but it's more or less the same thing. So I'd rather not burden a lady and resolved not to get into a relationship unless I'm in a position in life where I'm independent and responsible.

[Larz Zahn]

asdasd i get the feeling you were either spurned pretty bad by a girl in the past, or you are just one spiteful person.

[*V Guyver]

No, never been spurned. Granted I'm scared of relationships as much as the next guy when it comes to being rejected. But spiteful I may be, though not sure. I do tend to loath myself for my failures.

[Larz Zahn]

o crap dude... i meant asdasd not you vguyver. you got respect so you aint spiteful.

[*V Guyver]

oh, lol. don't worry about it.

[Wiedergänger]

wow, old topic.

Well from my experience, it's because jerks assert themselves where as nice guys tend not to.

For example, being a nice guy, I'd normally ask and do what the girl would want to do. But an assertive guy, including jerks would instead tell them "Hey, let's go to the movies."

When girls tell you they want a nice guy, it's true. But what they don't tell you is they want an assertive guy. Doesn't matter too much if he's a nerd or jerk so long as he is assertive. Of course, an nice assertive guy who say "okay then, what do you want to do instead/go to?" when she refuses to do what the guy said or suggested. A Jerk of course is intolerable that he demands you do everything he says.

In highschool, I only ever dated 1 chick, I dumped her after the second date (She was the assertive one) and never bothered dating again. Although I AM a geek, I still had the attention of girls in school. I had been flashed in and out of class, stalked, dragged into the girls bathroom, been molested by passing females, and chased around the school at least once. I'm not attractive, nor the assertive type, but I guess they had some quality of mine they liked. Sort of like how everyone in school thought I was scary and silent, not even the gang members in my school picked fights with me. I do have one defective mentality, I don't let girls near me, not for relationships since I'm not comfortable with myself, also a man is supposed to take care of a lady, I can't take care of myself the least. Well, that's not entirely true, I'm talking care of my family, but it's more or less the same thing. So I'd rather not burden a lady and resolved not to get into a relationship unless I'm in a position in life where I'm independent and responsible.

There are too few such as you, V Guyver. While I've never been stalked, or flashed for that matter, I did use to be popular. I wonder if you let yourself be alone because of something a girl once did to you. It's what happened to me. Maybe we're in the same boat, so to say?