ErutanXiku

Just letting you know I've read it and I think it's good; I like your style of writing. I feel like I'm reading it and I can follow quite easily, without having to think too hard on how to fit everything together There are some suggestions I could make on improving it - 'improving' makes it sound bad, perhaps 'adding a little extra' might sound better? I'll have to give it a second read though since this first time was to enjoy it and see if I could get into it. I don't know why, but whenever I read something I get the urge to try and draw, though it rarely ends up that way - my lazy streak kicking in - but I do see a 'comic-esque' style to it, though that's just how I picture things when I read. Reading about what the tall guy is reminds me of my own story that involved someone similar, hehe. I'll post back later on with more feedback

...Tygra... About the trailer though, it does seem to take place on Thundera; I just can't figure out who Lion-O seems to be fighting...it looks like his dad, Clawdius...My brother heard a rumour that possibly Lion-O and Tygra may be brothers in this, but I don't think that's likely...

...I don't need to be a student or anything to sign up do I? I know...stupid question, but I'm not familiar with WiZiQ

Trailer is out: It certainly looks quite good and despite the Japanese style, I do like the character designs - they all look too good

Never heard a guy say "I'm (well) stoked,"? Hmm...perhaps it's an English-Indian slang; I think it is mainly of male origin because the idea of "stoked" is like stoking the fire to make it burn stronger...I can't really imagine a girl coming up with it. After all, the idea of "fire in one's belly" strikes a male image...at least for me, hehe. Now I shall stop side-tracking. As for Kenji Murakami's post, I figured it would be something like that...after all, isn't it a common feature in Anime/Manga where if someone really hates another (family or not) they would refer to them solely by their first name, which is pretty disrespectful if you don't have a certain level of amiable familiarity/intimacy?

Hmm, I don't think it will be, easy I mean...I think the veil will be lifted steadily, while in the meantime my subconscious likes to make of fun of me - at least that's how it feels. What about it suggests the veil is lifting, if you don't mind me asking...unless it's something you can't disclose? In other news, I had a pretty non-sensical dream last night. By that I mean, I don't think it has any real significance apart from the obvious, and the fact that it features a celebrity is even more so. I was on the phone, trying to leave a message for my father regarding my condition, but his brother answered and wasn't really listening to what I had to say and then the phone went dead. I redialled the number and this time Matt Damon answered, only he tried to listen but the line was so bad it eventually got cut off. I was stunned by this, as I couldn't believe Matt Damon was at their house, I mean why?! Then my mum came into the room and asked me how things were going and I told her that I kept trying to tell them, but the phone keeps cutting out. I then dialled their number again and this time my cousin answered; she was quite nice but told me that they were all planning on going out so didn't have time to stick around and chat - this made me angry, as I felt that the only reason they decided to go out was because I had been calling, trying to tell them something important and true to their personality, they were acting like they didn't have time for my problems since we left my father. I could hear Matt Damon and her father in the background, talking but trying to get everyone to go out. In my anger, I just yelled at her about my condition, but immediately felt bad about how I said it and was thrown and irritated further by the fact that it apparently didn't register to her what I had said. She then said that before she went, she had a few questions like why my signature was so similar to my mothers (which it isn't exactly) and I said it was because my mother's was the only signature I could learn from. She asked two more questions, but I can't remember what they were and I hung up on her in annoyance, but I was still feeling bad, because while she had seemed pleasant enough, I was still angry and felt I could have handled the situation better. The scene then changed to a boat trip on the river. I was walking in a village towards the dock - for some reason the layout was a little weird, and getting from Point A to Point B was based on timing. When I reached the dock, the boat had just left and so I had to wait for the next one which was due in 20 minutes. While I waited, an elderly man approached me and we started talking and then the guy who owned the boat came along, apologising for making us wait - he was a guy that I've worked with a few times in my current job and he owns his own Boating Company that provides cruises along the Thames. I can't remember anything about what the three of us talked about while we waited, but eventually a boat did come and we boarded, but we still kept talking and a second boat came that obviously threw the timing of departures off track - much to the Boat Owner's annoyance - and I woke up. The first one is quite straightforward - in that it could be about how I feel about telling my father's family about my condition...though I can't figure out why Matt Damon would be in it. The second one is a little weird and seems to suggest a journey or something...not sure, but I'm open to alternative interpretations.

You should definitely give writing a go I used to carry an A4 pad with me in school solely for writing purposes (and doodling in the margins) I was buzzing with ideas back then for an epic novel series, that now seems quite naff, but it kept me entertained and busy. Now though, I write fanfiction while drafting outlines for some short stories and possible novels - with my Art teacher discouraging me at every turn, my English teach nurtured my written creativity. Don't say that your dreams are shattered; I feel that there's always time. I fret and worry about my drawings looking crap - I want my comics to look their best - but then I remember that there are comics out there with far worse art than mine Maybe, if you don't feel you can make it as a hobbyist comic artist, perhaps you could become a legend in writing epic comics? But then, it may be better to start small...don't leap into the deep end, and wade your way in by as you perhaps planned to do - by writing short stories, even if they're unfinished scenarios. They could be about anything, start from anywhere, end wherever you choose - it's just an exercise to develop the tools of story-telling. Also, don't let your dyslexia put you off - if you want someone to proofread, there's your suggestion to Ryuki of asking a family member, or I'm happy to help...provided I have the time, hehe.

At most, I've made 4 AMV's in my time and three of them used Windows Movie Maker Though, the best program I used was Movie and Video Maker 6, which I used for one of them, but I believe it was a trial program included with my package as it didn't allow for any cool effects apart from Fade :/ I have about three more in the pipeline though, but it's mainly inspiration and Windows Movie Maker's rigid way of scene placement that hold me back. Unlike MVM6, WMM forces me to place scenes next to each other, as opposed to wherever I want and then filling in the blanks :/ I can't afford a sophisticated program at the moment, either...

Not sure if this follows the rules, but it's a very random video, though it's one of my all time favourite songs: Achilles Heel - Toploader: Onka's Big Moka http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zZztNg_I2s I plan on making an AMV, or my own video, to it one day

A similar thing happened to me; I was determined on being an animator or getting into some kind of profession which entailed illustration and creativity, but when I took GCSE Art, my teacher hated the way I drew and insisted on me changing my style - which I never did. Instead, I think I tanked on most of my coursework because I wasn't allowed to explore my creativity in my own way and ended up scraping a C. It really discouraged me, and while I wanted to take it up for A-Level, I didn't and instead picked Business Studies - later on, when a Psychology classmate saw me doodling and suggested that I'd click really well with one of his mates, I found out that this mate of his was drawing the same way I was and was doing Art A-Level. If I had known my 6th Form was lax about that, I would have taken it -_- So instead I draw intermittently as a hobby, but I can't stick to it for too long, so I think I lack discipline as a result - despite this, I hope to have a comic out one day. Again, lack of discipline is my enemy... Interestingly - I think this came up in my Psychology class since we covered a unit on the effects of brain damage - the brain is very adaptable, so if it does have damaged areas (not too serious, I think), given time, the brain will build new connections. I'm not sure if that's right though, since it's been years...but I think it actually applies to something like Languages, since as you're growing up the brain creates connections to support the learning of languages, but if you stop learning languages the brain will eventually cut those connections. Though if you were to start up again, it'll take time, but the brain will form new connections to support the learning of languages again. It's why my German teacher was a little envious about why I could pick up the language quite quickly; apart from it being so similar to English (at least to me), my Gran taught me Hindi when I was young, though I understand it far better than I can speak it, which is the situation with the other languages I know. Understanding is easy - and so is reading, as long as it's in English characters - but Speaking is hard :/ Then again, you probably know this stuff better than I do

Ah! I almost forgot! I did the exercise again last night, after a few nights of trying with no success...Rather than it being a door in a wall, it was a door in the ground, like a cellar. We went in and the girl chose the Crystal Ball followed by Bread - I thought she was going to choose the Apple, because it kept flashing between Apple and Bread until it settled on Bread. When I looked at the picture, I saw an Ocean Liner in a storm - it was painted in gray like the world of my dream. I didn't choose a book.

...Kind of like how a girl in the West might sound weird saying something like "I'm well stoked about etc."? No, I didn't make that up, some people I know (mainly guys) use it sometimes to convey their excitement.

Haha, yeah seems like it - after all it's eluded me for 17+ years, and sometimes I almost forget it if it wasn't for that sound the girl makes XD Anyway, in an attempt to 'converse', shall we say, with my subconscious - as I believe it has the key - I had a weird experience. Images were flashing and shifting, such as what began as a badly drawn image of a boy waking up, morphing into a beautifully rendered CG image. Suddenly, there was a voice that said "That's really good," and I asked it if it was referring to the CG image and when it didn't reply, I took it to be "Yes," and proceeded to explain the process behind making one. The voice then began to speak, but I couldn't understand as the words were muffled, and I could barely make out a part of what it said which was "The Banana did it," I was confused by this and thought 'Banana...?' it didn't make sense and as it continued to speak in muffled words, I fell asleep. Now that I'm awake...I wonder if it was hinting at BananaKing being a great CG-Artist one day, if that's his ambition? XD

Of course you're not interrupting That's why I suggested I post the results of future attempts in my blog-thread...I don't want anyone to feel that I've suddenly taken over, which I honestly do not mean to do Thank you for your take on my dream; I suppose that is a problem - dreams are open to multiple interpretations, but I don't know how to interpret my own unless it's outright obvious As for the scream, it isn't in relief either. It's like he opens his mouth, contorts his face in what looks like pain, but the sound he makes isn't a scream in pain/agony. Rather, it's a sound that starts low and raises in pitch... I've attempted the exercise a few times since then, but have had no other results. I try to enter the study, but it seems like my mind won't let me go there. Each time I try to focus on what I should be doing, everything seems to go white and the usual random splash-page of images fill me, so I suppose I'm just finding it hard to concentrate. Though, last night, I'm sure I heard someone say "Hey," as a greeting...could be auditory hallucination due to my concentration... Mirabilis, I haven't had adventure dreams in a while...at least, I don't remember having any for some time I remember, as a kid, my favourite dream was a Ghostbusters/Little Mermaid crossover

I blitzed through FFXIII as fast as I could to get the pain over with... I never had high hopes for it, in case it was bad, but when I watched the opening and heard the music, I was in awe and allowed myself to believe for a moment that I had it all wrong...and then a particular clip came up, and reality came crashing down. It was a painful slap in the face and playing the game didn't ease the soreness...though I had good times ripping the proverbial out of it with my brother Of the two titles, I thoroughly enjoyed Vesperia (despite its flaws) much more than FFXIII, but that's just me

You heard right about it being part of a series "Tales of ..." Though not all of the games are really good; most are and they do a lot of crossover spin-offs with their own titles like Radiant Mythology; Narikiri Dungeon and Tales of VS (that came out before Dissidia...) Of the games I have played, I'd say most are like marmite - every game in existence is like marmite actually - but what I mean is, I went out of my way to own every title released in the EU and I've loved all of them in their special way; Vesperia was a little rocky. I loved how it was different in story, but at times the scenes and writing was just tiresome to get through - if you're planning on picking it up, I won't spoil anything, but the grander scale of the story is much better than the smaller scenes that make it up I feel. That said, my most favourite title is Tales of the Abyss on the PS2 and is due for a 3DS port - it never came out this side, but I was so desperate to play it, I had a little help with Swap Magic ; the anime does a good job of staying faithful, but eliminates some elements that added to character depth/development - and I'm not too keen on Tales of Legendia - another one that wasn't released this side, but I can't say I outright hate it since I haven't finished it yet...it just got a little tedious with the writing and characterisations. Apart from that, I quite enjoy the stories each one comes up with - Vesperia has elements from Symphonia (that came out on the GC) and Abyss, and gameplay is quite fun with good AI for the other party members, which you can switch between if the need arises Speaking of Symphonia, as it was my introduction, I loved how deep the story was and each character had a stake in what was going on, though they do use Anime-style cliche's at certain points, but it didn't impact my enjoyment of the title.

May as well stick my Tags up 360: ErutanXiku PS3: HameedSSM I play more on the PS3 mainly for the free online...I feel so bad saying that, but I just can't afford the 360 subscription right now As for why my PS3 ID 'breaks the pattern' it's because we set it up when my brother's PS3 was the only one we had, and this account was shared between myself and my other brother, and eventually became mine...also I'm too lazy to set up a new one; maybe one day though, when I feel the urge to replay some games...

...I just finished watching the Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien ~Next Season~ OVA and it reminded me how much I loved the anime series, so I'll be rewatching that. Otherwise, I have a load of anime that needs watching, my list currently stands (in no particular order) : Code Geass Seasons 1 and 2 Kyou Kara Maou Eps 70+ Ayashi no Ceres Rurouni Kenshin Ah My Goddess Season 2 X/1999 Naisho no Tsubomi Amagami SS Yosuga no Sora My HiME KareKano Hajime no Ippo Eps 50+ Bastard! Orphen Revenge And I might re-watch Golden Boy, it's probably the only anime that I'll willingly rewatch and still find hilarious everytime I'm also feeling nostalgic for other anime, like Chrono Crusade - I cried so much at that (the only thing I cried more at was Terminator 2) and Planetes...I'm still trying to hunt down Last Exile...and I need to get back into Bleach and/or Naruto. The fillers just kill it for me everytime I try to get back into it, and knowing the direction Naruto's taken in the manga...it just puts me off that bit more, and I won't comment on Bleach, apart from I wish he'd go back to Zombie Powder at some point. Playing Ultimate Ninja Storm 2, however, wasn't as bad, but I still got angry at certain points though...

Dude, sorry to hear it didn't go as well as you had hoped...I could give you some generic kind of "pick-me-up" words, but I don't think you'd be in the mood for that, not to mention you've kind of covered it already. Just don't be in too much of a rush about it; you have plenty of time ahead of you yet

Oops! Sorry! My brother always likes to remind me NOT to assume because it makes an "Ass" out of "U" and "Me"...I apologise for jumping to conclusions like that, who is your favourite X-Man, or do you not have one? You raise good points about the movies; they're not as versatile as comics can be. Though, despite Wolverine being the favourite of many, I guess my dissatisfaction comes from the other characters not acting as they should be - I didn't feel that Cyclops was a 'Leader' or that Storm was the wise advisor, who had to keep her emotions and power in check due to their nature...It all comes down to how they were written and portrayed, rather than the focus of the story. However, regarding the comics, Wolverine isn't an original X-Man either - not sure if he could be considered Second Generation though...

*cough* Cable...Deadpool...X-23...Jubilee (though that lasted 6 issues, so yeah)... As for the rest of what you said, exactly why most people prefer Wolverine over Cyclops, but it doesn't mean the X-Men movies had to be about Wolverine. In the end he got his own movie, and even that sucked...BAD! Yeah, he's interesting in that no-one knows his true story, but he's a loose cannon, and a sucky father-figure/guardian type. He took both Kitty and Jubilee under his wing, and he was there for Kitty more than Jubilee - everytime she really needed him, such as after the Bastion incident, he's never been around because he's off dealing with his own problems. Okay, this is going into territories unwanted and I don't want to turn this into an argument over who's the cooler character - your fave is Wolvie, mine's Cyclops X-Men doesn't really focus on just one character though; they could have gone on a grander scale, and perhaps written a story with a BIG issue and seen how it affected each character. I know, it's a problem with having such a large cast, which is why they tried to trim it down with the whole House of M arc *shudders* But since they managed to do such a great animated series in the 90's - every episode didn't focus on Wolverine - I don't see why they had trouble making such a well-rounded movie. As for his powers...not all that useful or unique considering Sabretooth has the exact same, and perhaps an even more tragic back story - now there's a movie in the making XD I'm sorry if it comes off like I'm lecturing you, but I'm honestly not - just trying to have a bit of a fun debate going

No, I've never had sleep paralysis...at least I don't remember having experienced it As for my lucid dreaming, it's not like remote viewing...I - as in my conscious self - am in the dream and I am interacting with what's going on, though some part of me is aware of everything and knows that it's not natural, while I believe in the world that's been created...using the situation with my brother, it was like I was "channeling" something (for lack of a better term/phrase), like two minds occupying the same space - one in control and believing everything, and the other manifested as a gut feeling/niggle in the back of my mind of sorts knowing it wasn't real. Perhaps this is remote viewing, but I thought that meant like I am in a dream, but my conscious self is aware of the dream and is watching it from afar. Though, I have no idea what to make of the events in Fiji...was it a dream or real, I don't know...it felt like I was dreaming, since I was 'asleep' but it was real and timed so perfectly with my mother's departure and arrival from the room, like they knew I'd be alone for that long... I wonder if they had other meanings...I don't think so, but I can't explain the source of the scratching sound. Because I couldn't follow your instructions while reading (opening my eyes to read in between broke my concentration, hehe) I made a recording and listened to it - my earphones are the kind that sit right inside your ears, and the block out almost all outside sound so all I could hear was my heartbeat. The scratching sounded so close and was clear as it would be if I wasn't wearing my earphones... I also forgot to mention, that the second time, I thought she was going to pick the Bread, but she chose the Apple. She isn't pointing things out to me, but rather showing me a picture of what she wants in my mind... I'll post my future experiments and results in my Blog thread, so this one doesn't get derailed - I've done enough hijacking XD So yeah, check back there if it's okay? This is all too interesting, but scary at the same time...I worry about unlocking something that shouldn't be opened, but I want to embrace anything new

I don't think you were being boastful, in fact that was an inspiring story and anything I say about it would pale in comparison to the actual feat and its importance in your life. I never intended to suggest that you were naturally as you are, I was just in awe/admiration at how the experiences you must have had have shaped you into a strong person. I guess I've lived a pretty sheltered life in comparison; violence hasn't been a presence in my life - apart from the odd tussle and wrestling with my brothers; I'm too weak to hold my own against them now though The most bullying I had growing up was name calling and racist remarks - words I didn't understand back then and so I shrugged it off and threw it back just as easily as they could say it.

I've just read through your entire blog and I feel it's refreshing to see someone so honest. You're certainly a much better person than I am; I wish I could be a fraction as good. I'm not a bad person...I think the closest match to who I am is like Deb from Drop Dead Diva - I've never broken the law, but have never gone out of my way to help people who really need it, unless they have some personal connection to me. I don't want to make excuses as to why I'm like this, but perhaps the over-protection my mother has for me has instilled some kind of inner fear of putting myself on the line for others. You see, I'm the only living daughter she has - I have two younger brothers. Since I'm the only daughter she has, she's always reminding me to be careful and wary of other people - it's annoying but endearing, though I can't help but feel it's affected me deeper somehow. Especially since there was this one time two years ago, I was on the bus home from work and I looked out - a kid who had gotten off the bus was getting beaten (kicked and punched) by a group of 3 or 4 others who had followed him off. I knew this was bad, I took out my phone and punched in 999 but I froze and didn't know what to do - I was scared of what would happen if one of them happened to look up and notice me. No-one else on the bus did anything, some who were foreign were even treating it like a tourist attraction...I have pretty good morals, and I always thought that if I saw something unjust I would do something to help stop it, after all as a kid I never hesitated to defend my friends or my brothers, but since then it's shaken me a little and I don't really know what kind of person I am anymore when it comes to situations like that. I would hope, that if I happen to witness something like again, I would do something to stop it, regardless...but then it sort of feels like I'm just doing it to make up for my lack of action that time; easing my conscience and making up for it... You probably don't want to hear this, but I'm sorry about your loss...as Ryuki said, some people feel survivor's guilt when a loved one dies too early. Having lost my sister at a young age and all of my grandparents, I don't really know what I should feel. I don't really miss them because I never spent much time with them, but I do mourn the loss of getting to know them. With my sister, I mourn the life she never had, but I'm happy she got peace - I don't know whether she felt she was suffering, but since you read my Dream post, I shall say it here - the girl who came to tell me that "I may not have friends, but people still care for me anyway," was my sister - it was good to see her walking and talking, but it was strange because she never got to do those things in life and I was only 2 when she passed - while it's comforting to think like that, I can't help but wonder if she was the form my subconscious chose to give me that message. I often think that my subconscious has its own personality and awareness - not like a split personality, but like a companion...after all, it governs and runs my body, so it should be aware of things that my conscious self isn't aware of... With the heavy part out of the way, let's address the rest of your postings... As for Astral Projection, your adventures are very interesting. When you mentioned "Badger", interestingly the form I imagined was of the Honey Badger before I even looked at that video - I know what Badgers look like (I did watch Animal of Farthing Wood as a child XD) but that was the form I saw. Also, I find it interesting that "Badger" taking the form of the Honey Badger complements you - reading your posts on how you'd do anything to survive, is just like how tenacious the Honey Badger is. Sometimes, I have wondered that Familiars/Animal Guides take the form of your "true self"/the shape of your qualities and spirit represented by an Animal Avatar - so it's not surprising that "Badger" looks that way. I can't theorise on Lilah, though it seems like Ryuki has a good idea As an aside, I too have a relaxed heartbeat - I was born with an irregular heartbeat that I have since grown out of, but I think that there are times where my heart misses a beat...I attended a few St. John's classes with my mum and looking for my pulse was a little difficult, and when they found it the heartbeat was a little hard to keep count on. Also, I once had blood taken for a test and the nurse couldn't find a vein on my left arm, but saw a nice one on my right - she stuck the needle there and blood flowed for a while then stopped...She then went back to looking for one in my left and after a little manoeuvering she managed to get enough for her sample. Sorry for the long post, but after reading the entirety of your blog, I had a lot to comment on and share

Okay...I tried it twice, and the results were different - I think it could be a combination of perhaps me thinking I should be looking for something, and outside influences making their way in... The first time, the girl placed the painting by the Dagger and chose the Beef Steak; when I looked at the painting it was a portrait of a boy with brown hair, dark eyes and cream skin. Half of his face was normal, the other half was bone that was tinted red, like the skin was freshly removed. I don't know if it has any meaning, but I'm thinking I saw this because I had watched CSI earlier The second time, the girl placed the painting by the Dagger again but this time chose the Apple. When I looked at the painting it was an image of a plant in a round pot with red and orange petals, like a Dahlia. The petals slowly swelled until they came together like a giant bud and then the image began to fade. As it faded and I waited a while, I could hear slow scratching sounds. The sounds shocked me out of it...I think the plant is to do with me looking forward to the flower festivals coming up...not sure... Having written it out, I see a pattern forming with the two results - Beef Steak is flesh like the Boy and Apple is plant like the Flower...either way not sure what was supposed to happen, but I'll try again when I'm more relaxed. I find it hard to clear my head - images always pop up, which I suppose is natural, but I felt like I was 'rushing' the process because I was eager to try it out EDIT: Both times, I didn't pick a book off the shelf.