Yuki's blog

[durendal]

So you're plugging your console to your monitor? I always thought that you play console with your TV. That's what I used to do anyway. Or is it the other way around that you plug your PC to your TV? These are the times that I feel like I'm getting too old and technology is starting to pass me by.

[*Jess♥]

ah.. he he... well I call it a monitor because it shows my pc at an accurate resolution but technically it's a tv because it has a tuner installed.

[*Jess♥]

i filmed a peregrine falcon today.

the movie is not so great so i kept it off my channel, only you guys get to see it if you want

[*Jess♥]

I'm just testing something -

[tweet]tremault[/tweet]

[*Jess♥]

i am so fed up of social networks today.

all the places i would like to see activity, there is no activity and instead there are things happening that just annoy me.

i'm getting game stories on facebook when I've specifically told them not to show.

for some messed up reason one twitter account that i follow is completely ignoring me. I've gone over everything i've done and tried to figure out what i might have done that might annoy anybody, I'm drawing a blank.

I've done nothing and i'm being ignored. why are there people like this? if i've done something without even realising it i think i could at least expect the benefit of the doubt and be told what it is. so I can do something about it?

as far as i know i've done nothing and i'm being completely ignored. in my view that makes them wrong and me innocent.

i mean, would i fault an elephant for accidentally stepping backwards onto me? of course not, the elephant wouldn't have known it was hurting me.

otherwise, why would anyone just ignore somebody? it's not accidentally missing messages. I've waited and i've delicately prodded as a reminder. i've waited a good 12 hours or 24 hours before checking and reminding . but no. no response.

they tweeted to other people so it's not as if they aren't checking messages.

on another note,

the acting prime minister of the uk waved to me the other day.

well, there was me and four kids at the fence. nobody else around. kinda cool.

[river_chaos]

It sounds like the people ignoring you are just immature in some way or another. I wouldn't be too bothered about it; if they want to be butt heads about it, then whatever right? Their loss.

He he, a VIP waving at you and four other kids at a fence, awesome.

[*Jess♥]

oops, forgot to hit 'post',

I did mean to say thanks for your support

well today I came in here to write about stupid government.

I'd been really worried about starting my business.

I was afraid that if the business doesn't do well, I would starve.

you see, I went to the job centre and asked them how jobseekers allowance would be effected by my business.

they said if I work over 16 hours, I get cut off.

so of course, I was a bit worried about that. who wouldn't be?

just today, I learnt about what 'working tax credits' are. I've heard this before and have always assumed it was something to do with tax relief for people who paid a lot of tax or who had low wages or some other thing. i mean, it is called 'working tax credits'.

well, what I discovered today is that this is actually a system where they give you some money if you don't earn enough. it's basically an 'earnings top-up' system.

YEAH RIGHT!! why wouldn't i think it was a system to increase my income if i don't earn enough!?!? I mean with a name like that!! and why the hell did the lady in the job centre not tell me about this?!

did she not think it would be prudent to tell a person that they will not be financially destitute if they start work??

I mean, she is working for the JOB CENTRE.

man, I want to write something positive in my blog.

stupid bloody government and job centre. they just make the whole unemployment situation worse. they actually make it detrimental for people to find work. it's bloody insanity.

ANYWAY.

I'm working on a certain anime series, re-editing it to make it more attractive. this anime series is notorious for having long boring drawn out scenes, merely to act as padding. I always used to hear people complain about dragonball but I never saw any issue with dragonball.

but this other anime is just awful with it's extended scenes and repeating sequences.

it's going quite well. hopefully if it continues to go well, I can start releasing it to the world of the internet.

[*Jess♥]

I received a lovely parcel today

I had asked my friend in Tokyo (lycanthropebata) about packet curry, the type to put into a big pot when making curry. he offered to send some to me. wow, very nice! very kind. so I accepted graciously.

it turned out that he decided to send a bit more than curry.

I got a big parcel with 2 fans of 'one piece', various tourist niceties of tokyo, guidebook for sunshine plaza, hokkaido geo park, a manga volume (morning manga, like shonen ace), misou packet, ultraman cup noodle, o-cha (japanese tea), very nice noodles, ramen stock, condiments, some burned dvd of zetman and other tv, curry paste ( the one i wanted) and a whole host of ready made packet curry (very nice!) and.... best of all... volume 27 and 28 of guyver!!

there aren't any words to even describe how generous that is, and I can't beging to express how special this parcel was. it was great. a wonderful treat. of course I have sent a parcel to him. unfortunately I am not earning a lot of money so I had to ration what i send and i will send 3 parcels instead of one big one.

I bought mulled wine, welsh ale, welsh fudge, stick of rock, welsh recipe book, tea towel with recipe's and traditional foods on it, book of tales from mabinogion, welsh phrase book, rhubarb and custard sweets, a little fluffy lamb toy, some freshly picked lavendar, a postcard, a tin of laverbread... i think i got more stuff but that's what i can remember for now. It's tough to think about what is unique to the uk and unique to wales, since the english empire brought a lot of stuff from overseas that has become every-day.

[river_chaos]

Wow, dude You have one generous friend indeed!

That was very kind of him, and I bet he'll like the stuff you send him in return.

[*Jess♥]

this evening I spent the first time in 18 years speaking welsh.

I went to a 'sessiwn siarad', which is basically a conversation club.

it was really cool to test how much I remember from school. well that and all the welsh that is on road signs, on bi-lingual leaflets etc.

You don't have to look far to find a bit of welsh here in Wrexham.

[*Jess♥]

recently, I have been strongly considering looking for a job teaching English in China.

I understand that there is a big demand and I am certain it is possible to arrange a contract where airfare is provided in advance.

also, if i can prepare something to be in a condition fit for sale, I can sell it for a fair bit that will enable me to travel to the chinese embassy and get a visa.

whilst I have been very focused on going to Japan and would go to great lengths to do so, considering going to china is very different.

I am not so familiar with China.

[*Kenji Murakami]

That sounds interesting. Why China, of all places, though? If you're more interested in Japan, why not try to find a job there?

[*Jess♥]

it appears to be more difficult to find a job in Japan, and there is the potential to find an agent in china who will pay for my plane ticket and accommodation before I go there.

I hadn't considered working in China seriously in the past. I have not had a great interest in it, but somebody mentioned it to me. The job market here at the moment is bad as I am sure it is in the US as well. I'd like to get some work and I also want to get out of western countries. too much focus on the seasons. fed up of seeing adverts and marketing and shops selling all sorts of stuff relating to halloween and xmas etc.

I started thinking about it and then while listening to some music the other day I got inspired by the thought of the landscape of china.

Apparently the demand for english teachers in China is huge so there are plenty of jobs available. obviously one has to be careful not to fall for a scam. I can do plenty of research there though. I don't need a huge salary or a long period of employment. but I do have a bachelors degree so I can actually negotiate a decent rate.

If I can make a good decision, and I decide to go for it, I may even be able to go in a matter of months or even weeks.

[*Jess♥]

I have been so busy lately.

i have been given SO MUCH design work to do.

I was given an urgent website design to complete.

this has really taken up a lot of my time.

but now that website seems to be mostly complete and looking pretty fly.

now I can get back to inking and colouring.

actually I kinda need money as well so I have been selling my personal belongings.

I was so overjoyed when i sold my camera! £110 for me! then i sold my halflife 2 art book! £50 for me!

well not really 'for me', the money is to be used for a very specific and important goal. I need to get official uk documents then get them notarised and approved and proved legal on an international level.

that will allow me to work in another country. so I can then seriously apply for work on an international scale.

but I don't want to talk too much about that as it is all so uncertain.

well the cost of getting the documents ready is something like £220. so I don't quite have enough to get it all done yet.

but i can do the first two stages. all that is left them is to send them off to the home office to get them internationally approved.

[river_chaos]

Good luck!

[*Jess♥]

I'm not sure how much longer i can take living in this house.

last night the back door was smashed in and my bike almost stolen.

just now, about 10 minutes ago, an explosion shook our entire house.

a can of aerosol paint had been placed in a pan of water on the stove, had exploded and destroyed half the cooker.

[*Jess♥]

things quietened down recently.

 

The person who was causing a lot of the events in this house has left.

things are actually reasonably comfortable here.

though I am not sure if I have fully recovered yet.

I'm feeling really strained lately.

I'm really tired and I'm getting upset with people too easily.

this could be due to feeling a bit more relaxed and tension being released...

I flipped out today when trying to connect my computer, throwing books across the room.

but I know that is a good thing because it is a release of emotions.

If I had anything bottled up, then it is coming out.

I am feeling a sort of calmness inside and i realised that I am tense.

 

Also, I am in contact with my brother whom I have not spoken to for over 2 years. He's been away and I didn't have his contact details.

but I'm finding that I am getting in a bad mood with other people after I have spoken to him on the phone.

I think I may be angry with him on some level, but I can't figure out why.

I guess the situation around him leaving is what is the problem. I can't talk about it really. I don't feel comfortable talking about it and I don't have anyone to talk to about it anyway.

Maybe this is the source of my indigestion on odd occasions.

 

Well I am reluctant to talk about the positive stuff in my life, because... well.. positive stuff is hard to come by and things are not set in stone yet, I don't want to jinx it.

what I can say though... is that I am doing an online course.

I think it is pretty rewarding and I think it will really help me.

I am really hopeful that once I can follow through with my plans I can come back to the forum and report something really good. 

[LordSpleach]

Well best of luck to you.

 

If only there were some camels around so you could punch em like Conan.

[*Jess♥]

I may make an announcement soon.

Something personal, something pretty big, probably won't effect the site really, but may change some subtle things... dunno.

I need time to think about it before I feel comfortable talking about it to others.

 

 

 

 

Well best of luck to you.

    If only there were some camels around so you could punch em like Conan.

 

thanks, heh heh ww

[*Jess♥]

well I talked about my big thing elsewhere. I went to South Korea.

It all didn't go down well and so I came back to Wales.

I love it here and since coming back I have been far more focused on my community connections.

I have realised how important people are to me.

I have reconnected with an old friend.

She has been sort of in my life for over 16 years and we have had this kind of connection, like a weird bond. we keep coming back to each other.

I've spoke to her abut it and I have suggested that we could try and see if we work well as more than friends.

She has gone into hospital though so I think we are keeping that idea on hold for now. maybe I can talk to her about it in a few weeks.

I honestly don't even know how  I feel about her. any feelings of romance, may just be yearning for SOME romance, and not necessarily her.

but of course there is only one way to find out for sure.

 

I'm crazy busy lately. working on a community project with a large group of loosely organised people. been doing videos and logos and leaflets etc.

[Aether]

when im fully better i would like to interact more with people, i want to help people, but first i need myself back in a position to do so.

 

is it romance you want or companionship?  my reason for asking would be long drawn out and personal so i wont go into detail, im sure youve asked yourself that anyway, but it might be something to think about

[*Jess♥]

I honestly don't know.

We have such a bond and trust each other so much, that I feel we would make excellent life companions for each other.

It's the romance that I am just not sure about.

16 years ago , we had a few 'moments' if you know what I mean. back then it was like floating on a cloud. I just don't know how time might have changed that.

I do know that any picture I look at of her, looks like perfection. Can't fault how she looks. actually she may be a little overweight but for some reason I find it attractive on her. But I am fully aware that these things could be phantoms of past feelings or wishful thinking etc.

[Aether]

well i kind of know where you are coming from

the thing is that i think we can forget how special a relationship like this can be, i mean when you analyse it, there are different sorts of friendships, not all of them are so strong or 'real'... out of 7 billion people if we can find someone we truly get on with, respect and trust it is truly a gift, so why shoud you ignore it or not want to make it as perfect as possible.

if you still find each other attractive i suppose romance would be the 'cherry on the cake'....

i hope it works out for you, whatever happens

Edited April 24, 2013 by Aether

[*Jess♥]

Thanks, yeah!  totally want it to work out the best way!

whatever that way is.... 

[Toku Warrior]

All I can say is ease into it while not letting the thought of if there's any romance there or not consume your mind. Think about it too long and you might miss your chance. Sometimes, it's best to either test the waters or just dive right in. The best that can happen is that there is romance and the worst is...well, there is no worst if you two remain friends at least. Experiment and just go for it. You'll never know unless you try.

I wish you the best of luck.

P.S.

You said that you've known her for over 16 years now, right? If you tried something then but it never took off, then maybe you two weren't meant to hook up at that time, with life wanting you two to mature a bit more in real life experiences before trying again and possibly creating a romantic connection.