Steel

Sorry I was responding to a previous post.. its also why I apologised as to derailing the thread. Chill dude. Anyway to get back on subject. If they go for a Krakoa angle then perhaps Professor X pulls the same trick that he did with Vulcan and his team of X-men and erase the momorys of those close to them when they vanish. Thats why Scott dosn't remember discovering his Younger brother (Gabriel not Alex). They'd just have to rescure Beast and Mistique. I always thought it was intresting how Proffessor X's morality seemed to become increasingly more dodgy as time went on in the comics. Its not his X-men any more.

I like Ian Anthony Dale but he was no where near as impressivey powerful as Kazuya should be. Not his fault, the coriography and script pretty much screwed him... Fighting with twin axes... WAAAHHHH!!! no no no... I mean I really wanted to like the movie but why must they insist on mixing up characters or not getting the spirit of them right. He's Scorpion in the new Mortal Kombat mini series. I'm looking forward to that because they apear to be setting Scorpion up as the protagonist... which I feel is a really nice spin considering he's my favorate, and if you know his story it quite accurate. lol... we apear to be side tracking this a bit.

Nah that origin for Sinnister was ditched, yes he posed as a boy who bullied Scott but he's actualy a few hundred years old. He's been pulling strings all over the place and created the Marauders as well as tampered with many, many mutants over the years. Gambit actualy had a hand in the Morlock Massacre which Sinnister was behind. I think he's meddled with him on sevoral occasions. It wasn't untill one of Chris Clarmonts X-men: The End series (thats his theoretical ending for the X-men titles set about twenty or so year from the current time frame)that he revealed that Gambit was a clone of Sinister. Its not 100% cannon but its more likely that most origins for him. Also Nate Grey and Cable are pretty much just alternate universe versions of each other. Although Cable's mom is Madelyne Pryor not Jean... but they are geneticly identical. So really only one kid named Nate... they just did it twice... Not sure why Nathan though. And why oh why did you have to remind me of the Tekken movie?!

It depends on what your fine print is but like Ryuki said just let out out slowly. If its something that is sprung on you then just say "sorry I'm not ready for that now" if they cant understand where you are comming from then they are probubly not suited for a relationship with you. I always think its best to ignore stupid social rules about dating. Just go with what you want to do and what feels right for you both. Nether of you should feel forced if you are going to enter a relationship.

The re-imagining thing is the only way I can justify it in my head... but I'll still mainly see it as a waisted opertunity to do the real First Class. As I said I'll watch it anyway and try and lock my crazy fanboy part in a room where I cant hear his screem. I never really apriciated Captain America untill I matured myself. Now, like you said, I see him as a proper hero. More so than alot of the suposed Superheroes who dont have that moral backbone and courage. Now he ranks in in my top favorates. It helps that Ed Brubakers run was pretty much the best and most consistantly writen run I've seen in comics for a long time. It got me to give him a chance and that was all I needed. I also heard the theory about Gambit being the third summers brother, but a new character was created to fill that void. Dosn't mean that Gambit dosn't have some Summers genes in him though as there is a theory he's a clone of Mr. Sinnister, and that guy LOOOVES his Summers clan. Your definatly right about them complicating things even more. Man if they make Alex Scotts dad and Emma his mother, when he's in a serious relationship with whitequeen in the comic universe and has had children with her in alternate futures... I wouldn't want to explain that to people. My brain is starting to ache thinking about it.

I had one of the inevitable Bad Weeks at work. Really knocked me for six. I tried to fight through it but my boss gave me a week off as he could obviously see how much it was getting too me. Thankfuly I seem to be well liked by all the other guys I work with and they all owe me about three weeks off in total for all the shifts I've covered for them. I mainly just sat around, watched some Tv and films, played some games, but I found it hard to read anything or do things that took a clear head. Too disturbed and distracted. We are always told that by the time we are called then the worst has already happened. Just do your best and try not to make it personal. I always have a problem with the last part. I know I do my best, but I just wish I could do more. It a horrid feeling to see that no matter what you do its not going to be enough. I'm kind of past it now. In the way of its effect on me at least. The past week at work has been better. I feel like it will always linger with me as the worst week I've had here but I've made my peace with it. I almost crused right through valentines day without noticing. I did however get three cards and a box of chocolets from the nurses. Two of them are just light hearted but I think one of them is a bit more serious. I try not to lead anyone on. I'm not looking for a relationship and I've never settled for anything less than one. So its kind of hard. Perhaps I need to be more vocal in my personal situation. She's a really nice girl but I dont want her to pin any hopes on me comming around. I dont want to. After going almost a whole month without any sucsess with the atral projecting thing I managed it last night. This time there was more colour to everything. Dulled but definatly not the greyscale look from before. Although it felt like it was there all the time but I'd just not noticed that the grey was slightly coloured... if that makes any sence. I didn't see badger, or feel him latched onto me, but Lilah was there again. I could actualy hear her voice, or remember it. Before it was like her talking but I coudln't remember what she said or what she sounded like. Its weird, she looks and sounds so fimiliar but I cant place where its from. She reminds me of Death from the Sandman comics. Which is all kinds of weird. She took my hand and lead he out into the hallway and up the stairs, but strangly they went right out onto the roof of the house. We looked out over the city. It was shouded in orange gloom. I dont remember being able to see the stars or moon in the sky but it was misty and dark. Lilah turned to me and asked "What do you want out of this?" which confused me. I dont really know. I think she was refering to why do I try and atral project, although maybe it was what do I want out of life... not sure. Anyway it was then that I felt warmth behind me the golden glow started to shimmer. I felt two arms wrap around me. It wasn't till then that I realised I had felt cold all that time. Now I could swear that it was exactly the same way Fiona used to hug me from behind, I'm sure I could feel her pressed against my back. I started to float up off the roof sevoral feet up. The gold glow felt like wings... then I felt a pain in my head and dropped like a stone. I woke up in bed, I'd aparently been crying. Again very strange but not unplesant expirience. I still find it hard to get my head around the very idea of my soul going for wacky adventures outside my body. Part of me is still saying that its just a controled dream state. I dont know who or what Lilah is but she makes a good point. I dont know why I'm doing it. What do I want out of this expirience. There is somthing out there that I feel I have to do. I cant place what it is. I have to work out how to do it more reliably. I think I need to work on my meditation. My head hasn't been clear in a long time.

Having this set in the sixtys and Havoc already being in his late teens I dont see how they can have him being Cykes brother. I'd put Scott at no older than his early thirtys although more likely late twentys. This would make First Class Havoc in his fiftys... not saying its not possible for them to be brothers but its unlikly. More likly he'll take Crosair's place as Cyke's dad. Will be a diffrent take on the character. In the comics he's felt like he's been over shadowed by Scott for most of his superhero life. This version wont have that. In general it just gives me the feeling that these are the characters in name but not so much in personality.

Thanks for the anayssis Ryuki. I'd say pretty spot on. Feel sort of stupid that I couldnt come to that conclusion myself. I've never really had a dream when the end of the world is happening but alot of mine seem to be in the aftermath of something devistating like that. A friend of mine always has dreams where he is powerless or has great trouble trying to do something. Odd considering he's a body builder, but I think that is part of the reason he started, he feels weak and unhappy. He's always hitting sort of barriers in his dreams. I seem to have the opposit effect in mine. I usualy find things effortless and can even do ridiculus physical feats. I think its too do with visualising my capabilitys. When I used to spar and fight competitivly I would always visualise the fight many times over in my head to get the feel of my own movement. If you mentaly go through a strike in your head and picture exactly how every muscle moves and flows then you usualy can hit alot harder, move and react faster. Of course I'd do this many times over in my head whilst staring at my opponent. Garenteed to unsettle them. Always gave me the advantage. Tried to teach him to do it and gain physical confidence but it dosn't seem to work. Anyway, weird about that coin ErutanXiku. Did you keep it?

Wow other Cyclops fans! Cool. He's been my favorate X-man since I was eight years old and I'm always extremely loyal with my fandom. Not that its not been hard. He's suffered some really bad writing and missed potentiol. Good to see him doing alot better these days in terms of his strengths. He's always been up there in terms of strategic and tactical minds, second only to Captain America in my opinion. As for the film... I dunno, I'll watch it because I'm a sucker for superhero films but it sure as hell isn't X-men First Class too me. Its so non cannon it hurts. I just look at it and think WHY?

That is a pretty intresting dream Mirabilis. Although it must have been pretty scary as well. I think the most cohearent one I had was yesterday nights one. I'm unsure how its started but the first thing I remember had my parents and myself walking through this big airport building tunnel. I remember being angry at them. They had messed up the orginization of the flights and somehow I was left without a car. I think I was just dropping them off, but for some reason I'd joined them on a bus ride too the airport, leaving my car sevoral hours travel away. We seemed to be doing more wandering around these long passageways than anything else. I stopped at a water fountain and took a drink. I remember it having a strangly large bowl and was all shiney silver. I washed my face and hands in it before turning too them and saying I was leaving. They were annoyed as they still had a bit too go before they found their plane but I told them I had my own problems and left. I also found it odd that I was wearing the Mariachi's outfit from Desperado (I know it was that because of the scorpion on the back of the jacket. didn't have a guitar case though.) I cant quite remember what happened next but then I seemed to be in this sort of shopping cernter compound. Sort of like something from Dead Rising. It was all enclosed and it felt rather empty as even though the shops were open there was no staff. There were a few of us there, although no one I know in real life. A bunch of us were planning on watching something in one of the cimenas and one of the girls was trying to make us all popcorn. For some reason I was unsuaualy agressive and bossing people around. It had something to do with me thinking they were slacking off and there was something really important we needed to be doing. I left them and went to see the Sheriff. He seemed to be incharge of looking after us and protecting us from this weird bunch of guys in suits who were from some mining company. There were Men in Black types and rather inhuman feeling. I was really angry with the sheriff as I knew he was secretly dealing with them on the sly. So I kicked the door down and said I was going to take his job and he could go out into the wastelands (I dunno I think it was post apocolyptic outside of the compound) He told me that I couldn't take his job as he was the strongest. He drew a knife which we all seemed to have. I drew mine and with one clean motion I chopped his blade off like it was made of foam or soemthing. He freaked out and asked how I did that. I said I've always been hiding what I can do but I've lost faith so now its up too me. There were some other parts too it but I cant really remember them. I'm pretty sure its all to do with me asserting myself and being independant... which I am... I dont really depend on anyone so I'm not too sure about it.

Well apart from it meaning you are quite obviously hopelessly insane I have no idea what that would be about. Although just wait for hollywood to bring out Harry Potter vs Predator. They are running low on ideas and that would no doubt rake in the money. You should write a screen play and send it too all the studios. You may as well profit from your madness.

I used to get the falling feeling when I was a young kid. Always snapps you awake. I do get the alarm thing quite often too. I usualy think its a phone, or a fire alarm. Once it was a person just standing there saying "Beebeebee beep" over and over again. Took me a minute to wake up.

Yeah I have friends who have "the Naked dream" alot. I guess your right Ryuki they are pretty dishonist or at least hiding something. Guess I can take solice in never having had those dreams. It is quite amazing how you can create something so complex in a dream, Yet if you were too try while you were awake you would have great difficulty. I've had one or two prophetic dreams, but I also get moments like that while I'm awake and predict things that are yet too happen. I'm also not sure if I get recouring dreams. I sometimes dream something that I think I've dreamt before, but thats in the dream state and once I'm awake I cant remember having had it before that well. Its a strange sence of confusion.

I know quite a number of people who aparently dont have, or cant remember having dreams. Personaly I dream every night, but forget most of them through out the day unless they are especialy vivid or distinctive. For me the theme is usualy based on something that has passed through my mind during the day, but I've not spent too much time thinking about. The most common elemelts used to be the building of my old bording school. That and a strange lack of people. I almost always feel like there is only small population. I guess it feels sort of like a film where you are only concentraited on a few characters and not much outside their world seems to exist. There have been a few times that I have become aware that I was dreaming and was able to control things, and keep on dreaming. Although its more common that I just wake up as soon as I know I'm dreaming. I rarly seem to have a negative dream or a nightmare. Which is odd, I would have thought I would have more due to stress and various other things. I dont remember ever having the "Naked at work/school" dream. Although I did have the falling one once or twice in my early teens. Do you guys remember your dreams?

I've got the spending bug. Right now it seems really hard to resist blowing my wage as soon as I get it. Normaly I'm quite good at saving, but I keep seeing things I want at the moment. I also made the mistake of buying a new bookself. So I have this urge too fill it up. Maybe I should break my internet connection for a few days till I can build up the will power again. Its far too tempting when its so easy too buy stuff online.

Got news the other day that a friend of mine had died on the 4th. He was an online freind so its strange. I first got talking with him back in 2003. He was always friendly and had a good humour about everything. Never failed to make me smile. We used to have a good banter going, we were leaders of oposing teams in an online game. It never got serious but we would tease each other endlessly, much to the amusement of everyone else. Even with my sporadic apearences in later years he'd still be one of the first to welcome me back. I'm going too miss him. My best wishes go out to his wife and children. The kids are far too young to loose a father. I wish I had met him in person. Got a letter this morning. Its a summons to be a witniss at a tribunal on behalf of a friend. Wish he'd told me. Now I have to get next friday off at short notice. Plus I really dont know what he expects from me. Its something too do with his old work but I dont know much about it so I dont know what this is about. All I can do is be honist. He cant expect any more.

I'm finding my days off are passing really quickly at the moment. I feel like its because I'm not being productive with my time. The last two weeks especialy. Right now I'm doing four working shifts and only getting three days off instead of the standard four on four off. When I get finished all I feel like I dont want to do anything at all. I suffer from Eczema and my skin is irritated by the cold weather. That and dairy produce. Its much more managable than alot of people, but I get it in the joints of my legs and arms. It usualy takes a day too die down after I've been outside alot (which is basicly all the time with my job) In the summer it dosn't bother me. The sun is a great healer for my skin, that and sea water. Again it has me question why I'm living in edinburgh again. I could make my life a whole lot easier if I moved to a warmer climate. Anyway I want too set myself some goals. I want at least one day a week to be dedicated to a creative outlet. Writing, painting or drawing, something that I enjoy doing but is giving me something at the end. I would have loved a career in any of those aspects but never got the push I wanted as a kid so didn't develop those skills. Its never too late though. Even if it dosn't gain me money it still gives me pleasure and the more practice the better I'll become.

If badger is what he looks like then a Ratel (Honey Badger) is one of the most crazy animals of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c81bcjyfn6U Past few days I've had nothing happen. I'm probubly trying too hard. Got a new Ipod touch to replace my old ipod classic. Still not used too it yet so I've been still carrying the old one about. I just find touch screens weird. I could navigate the classic's menus without looking at what I was doing, but that dosn't work with a touchscreen where there is nothing too feel. It is an impressive bit of kit though. I'm playing Infinity Blade, which has awesome graphics for something on a platform like that. Its got a nice action where you control the swing of your blade with a swipe of your finger. Its a nice way to burn some time when I'm waiting for something, or just bored. Also got my first S.H.figuarts yesterday. Kamen Rider W Cyclone/Joker. Was going to get the Fang Joker instead but I think the default look is nice. I am impressed. I think W's design comes off well in the line. I had stayed away from previous figures because they looked a bit too acurate to the dude in a cheap suit look. I prefer them more detailed and stylised like the SIC line. W's suit looked better though due too the sort of ridged scale or plate look of the suit. I'm tempted by more but not 100% converted. I think I'll stick just too the odd ones I like the look off. Gills looks nice though. Always wanted a SIC figure of him too compleat my Agito set. He might be a nice one too tide me over.

Well after alot more practice I think it happened at least twice more. The first was short, I was tired its was half way through my four shifts and I was physicaly shattered. I kept waking up feeling like I was somewhere else, not in my bed. Sort of like waking up to find that you fell asleep on the couch (which oddly never happens). Anyway after aboutthe fifth time of slipping in and out of sleep I got an odd sinking feeling, that then sort of reversed and I felt a bit weightless. Everytime I enter this state i notice a strange lack of colour. Nearly everything goes grey save for a very few things. The only place I felt some weight was on my chest. I looked down and saw "Badger" on me. At first it was formless just like a hazy red glow. The more I looked at it the more solid I became. Now at this point I'm not sure if I was just forming it in my mind or something because it started to get a shape and actualy look like an animal. It was a rough outline at first then more detailed as I kept looking at it. At the time I thought it odd that it didn't look all that much like a badger. More like it had the head of a weesel. More like a wolverine to be honist. It was only later that I googled badgers too see that it was more like a honey badger. Anyway it was looking right at me and was larger than last time almost covering my whole chest. It had a strangly blank expression. I simply said "hello" then everything started to vibrate, and for some reason I threw my hand up and banged it into the wall. The pain seemed to bring me out of it and everything looked normal again. The second time was just last night. I remember trying to project myself but all I was getting was visuals of Edinburgh, the streets, people, usualy connected by some sort of violent act like shouting or fighting. It reminded me of that scene from Unbreakable where Bruce Willis is in the trainstation and starts having flashes of people's ill deeds. In fact now I think of it I do remember that being in the same sort of grayscale with one or two splashes of colour. I could hear talking, a woman's voice. I was back in my bed but everything was strange again. I could see the woman sitting in the chair I have next too my wardrobe. She looked to be in her early twenties and dressed in a goth manner but not overly so. I think the lack of colour was adding too it. She looked strangly happy and was talking away but I cant for the life of me remember what she was saying. I had a weird tingly feeling in my right arm and when I looked at it I could see Badger around it, but not formed into anything. Like a weird red glowing bracer. I got up and walked out into the hall before going upstairs. At this point Badger was the only thing with any colour. I went too the big windows in the loft room and looked out over the city (I stay on the top of a big hill). Things were foggy outside (but they were that anyway yesterday) but the streetlights weren't orange anymore, they were just white. Everything was quiet, so much so that you get that buzzing quiet. The woman had followed me and put her hand on my shoulder. I'm sure her name was Lilah as thats what popped into my head. She said some more things I cant remember and touched my fourhead. Things started to vibrate again and I felt a strange sinking feeling. It was at this point that I rolled out of bed and hit the floor, and everything was normal. Over all it was another very strange expirience. I still dont know if I'm just entering some trippy dream state that I'm partly controling as I still find the concept of leaving my body to be a little hard too swallow... but even saying that its still happening even when I'm skeptical so beleaf dosn't seem to effect it. Lilah seems very fimiliar though, again I cant place if its because maybe I've seen her before as an actual person or if she is an imiginary creation. Wish I could recall what she was saying. She seemed strangly happy and comforting. Another odd thing was that my arm tingled all day. Like a more plesant version of hitting your funnybone. Again very strange expiriences. I swear if this goes wrong I'm going too haunt you Ryuki

From what I've read over the past few days it should become easier the more I practice. Couldn't really find anything about the three faces, Badger or the Golden glow. You may be right, I've heard people mentioning animal guides as well so maybe Badger is something like that. None of the apperitions felt like part of me. If anything I was colourless. A sort of silvery white glow about me but thats all. It's certainly intresting and something I'm going to try and explore more even if I dont understand what's going on. I should really get in contact with an old friend of mine who is really into that sort of thing. He used too tell me that I needed too sit on the earth alot more. I aparently have a chakra blockage in my heart, but I payed it no heed as I didn't really beleive in such things.

I think I had my first controled Out of Body Expirience the other night. Been trying to focus on some of the Astral Projection training that I've picked up from various websites. It's all entairly Ryuki's fault . The more I read the more I encountered people who had expirienced similar phenomenon themselves. Seeing strange apparitions, sleep paralysis and so forth all seemed to pop up regularly. Aparently the key lies in reaching a certain level just before sleep but maintaining consciousness. So it turns out I've sort of already been doing that for quite alot of my life. The more I thought of it the more I could track me reaching states like that even as a kid. My problem is not accepting it or fighting it. I wasn't really trying to Astral project the other night but I realised what was happening and managed to concentrait. It was then that the odd paralysis came over me and the weird feeling of something there hit me. At first I felt fear. It was far harder than I thought it would be too shake that. It sort of felt like the world had become monocrome, like the colour had slipped out and it was cold. I tried raising myself but kept falling back into my body. Instead of fighting it like I normaly would I tried too still my mind, then just seemed to roll out of my bed. I stood up and felt a strange clamping on my foot. I looked down too see some sort of red fuzzy/blurry shape about the size of a terrier on my ankle. For some reason I called it a badger, even though it was smaller in shape and bright red. It wasn't painful but it was just a strange pressure clamping down. I looked down too the end of my bedroom too see three faces all sort of conjoined. I've seen them before when I was younger. They are masculin but with long sort of wavy hair. They remind me of greek sculpures. Like those fountains that spit water. They just seem to be made of shadow but for some reason I can perceive deapth and features to them. They feel sort of malevolent. I've been scared anytime I've seen them before. I felt a strange pressure on my shoulders, like something forcing me into the floor like it was sand. I looked back at the faces and pulled myself together, they melted away into the wall. Then I felt warmth and a strange golden glow behind me before I fell backwards onto my bed. Woke up, seemed like only minutes since I looked at the clock when I was going too sleep. I was under the covers, everything looked normal again. Truly a weird expirience. I'm still having a hard time justifying it in my head. I dont know if it was a dream I was controling or my mind just playing crazy tricks on me. I tried again the past few nights but maybe I'm trying too hard. Really dont know what the "badger" was. Never had a pet apart from a few fish and a gecko. The old guy who owned the house before also didn't have pets and he had it since it was built.

We've hadalot of orange, red and purple skys up here over the past month. They can be really breat taking. Usualy when I'm having a hard day I just stop whatever it is I'm doing (if I can... obviously not while someones in cardiac arrest) and look around. Properly look around. Buildings, trees, the sky. Its all prety beautiful if you can learn to apriciate it. Not enough people take in and apricaite what they are looking at. BTW awesome Rock Lee key ring. Him and Shikamaru are my favorate Naruto characters. Oddly oposing eachother now that I think of it.

Nice idea about the videos, you should really give it a try. Also good idea about getting a Japanese name. In my travels I amassed quite a few nicknames and the like. In china I actualy had two. I consider them actual names rather than nicknames like the others. It took about a month to be called something other than Gwailo. Which basicly is slang for white foreigner. It wasn't really used in that much of a hateful way as it can sometimes be used. It took me a while to realise that they had started calling me Zhiqiang (Sounded like Shi Tsian) I suposedly means stubourn or forcefull will. Something like that. However the name that gives me the most pride is my fighting name. Which should be given by your Sifu when he thinks you have earned it. Its usualy based on your style. Its a long story but in the best fight of my life (against my friend and teacher) he gave me the name JawLong, which means "like a dragon". Thats pretty much the highest honour I could ever get in that world, and it still makes me emotional. I've mentioned before that I'd really like to go to japan for a while (Maybe a year or so) and it would be nice to have a name there. It is better when that name is given though. That way you know it isn't ego based even if it does flatter you.

Wow christmas time is a seriously depressing time to be working for the Emergancy medical service. Been real busy the past three weeks or so. I pulled alot of extra shifts too help people out. I have two whole weeks of days off that people owe me now. Still it working through Christmas wasn't as big a sacrifice for me as it was for alot of the other guys with familys and stuff. Some of it felt good... some was rather horrid, but I hope that is the worst of it over now. I did the best I could, I just have too settle for that and move on. Bought myself some master grade gundam kits that I've been building on my days off. I've mainly been off weekdays so everyone I know is working. Building a kit a week has kept me occupied. I just sit infront of the tv and work on them slowly. Stops my brain from going nuts. Got a few more ordered. Want too build myself a Zaku army. After trying to escape the christmas night out I ended up failing and got dragged along for a few hours before I slipped away. Wasn't too bad thankfully although filled with the usual empty promisis by drunken colleges. I seem strangly popular for someone who is so antisocial. Perhaps its the mysterious thing thats working for me. As suspected though people dont seem to understand me wanting to be alone. One of the guys there kept trying to set me up with a whole bunch of the nurses one after the other. He just dosn't get it. Ah well dosn't matter.

Was a whole bunch of christmas cards in my pigeon hole at work. Dont get me wrong I sort of get it... but I never really send out cards. I'll buy gifts, write letters but cards just seem a bit of a waist. Yeah I'll buy a couple and send them to distant relitives but thats it. Its not like I wont wish people a merry christmas in person, but I dont really get the "Take a list of everyone at work and write a whole bunch of cheap cards" thing. Seems an insane waist of money and time. Yes its the thought that counts but lets face it if you are writing loads of them the only thing personal is the name your writing. All else is just the standard greeting and who its from. Got the Christmas party tomorrow... I hate those things. Not a party person at all. Dont drink, dont like generic music and there is almost ALWAYS trouble. Trust me doctors, nurses, medics whatever... they can be some of the worst drunks due too the stress. I really want to just not go but its going to be hard sneaking away without being noticed as I'm covering a half shift.