Steel

http://www.gundammodelkits.com/sic-vol-57-kamen-rider-w-cyclone-joker-more-updated-images.html In the top pic you see him doing his rider kick in two halves. Makes me much more psyched to get them now. I like W's look but all the variations are a little off putting. Perhaps there will release a reversed Joker/Cyclone so you can double up both forms? I have a suspicion it will be an exclucive though. Although maybe... just maybe released along side Fang Joker if they do him.

I get what your saying. My point was that critisizing isn't in my character. It never has been and there are a multitude of reasons for it. I'm capable of it yes, but I'll nearly always hide the negitive side. As I said, I'm a busy man there for I dont read fanfiction because it will always be perceved as a risk. Yes even published writen work can be an utter waist of time but finding those hidden gems is alot harder when you dont know what your getting. I am up for helping this place mind you. My sugestion is that we start a Sign up thread for critiquing. You sign up and add a link to one peice of fiction and the others review it and try and help you along. Then you do the same for whatever they have signed up. Quid pro quo. One bit at a time, that way we keep it fair and people get a taste for someone elses work. If you then want to go further and read the rest of their stuff then great. But we try to keep the sign up thread as even as possible. Currently we all just post our work and wait. You said it yourself Oberon, you dont like it when people expect feedback but dont give any... but I dont see any of your feedback on anyone elses work. Maybe I missed it or maybe its on another website, but that dosn't effect things here.

The Final chapter! http://www.mediafire.com/?bdj0v69fk4m697c Ran into a little block when I started working so I think it set the pacing kind of wacky. I'll rectify this in the main rewrite. I'll also add some more forshadowing so the big reveal dosn't come as out of the blue as it seems (I totaly had no idea where I was going. Typical my first story is the only one not planned.) I'll read the whole thing and try and make notes on how to improve it and make it feel more coherant, but if you have any feedback at the moment I'd really apriciate it.

I dont know why I didn't realise that the S.I.C. W could split in two. No need to buy so many varients is a good thing.

Crazy weather up here today. There is really strong winds blowing and lots of rain and hail stone showers. Its almost comming in horizontally the wind is that high. Makes one heck of a racket as it bounces of the windows. Been managing to resist spending for a month or so. My "Spend money" has piled up. I've been thinking of upgrading my survival pack with the money. That would give me my perfect kit. Been looking forward to that for a long time. Hopefuly nothing else will distract me before my next pay check.

I used to read fan fiction when I was in china and didn't really have much reading material or access to comics. Some were great and inspiering, some not so much. Its not that I dont have an opinion on what I dislike. Its just that I personaly dont like critisizing things that I feel I cant do better myself. It takes something quite strong to evoke a responce that I'm willing to share. I'm a fairly useless critic. Instead of being a negetive thing I feel we should try slanting this thread towards helping the writers here rather than listing a whole bunch of things we hate. I just dont really see the point and many of the things I dislike are already mentioned.

I'm sure your not trying to be offencive there Oberon, but it comes across that way. But sure fair dues, I've not read or commented on anyone's fan fics. I dont perticularly have that much time to spare when I'm not doing something. I will usualy do like for like. If someone takes an intrest and reads my stuff I'll do the same... but some of the threads can seem intimidating. Where to start? are there story archs? do writers have an order too it in their head. Its not something that looks easy to jump into. Yes I write myself... although no longer any Fan Fiction. I try to keep to meterial i'm creating myslef. Its not exactly very original but I like doing it and I dont like to be constrained by some of the various reasons listed in this very thread. Alot of it applies to all fiction writing but whe its fan fiction then you lose alot of creative control. There are so many tropes that can easily be disliked and take great skill in pulling off well. I dont clame to be able too myself so I didn't want to list a whole load of things I dont like. Thats why I havn't posted (that and this thread is only two days old and I've been working twelve hour shifts since sunday) its not that I dont feel like gracing you with my opinion as you so nicly put it.

Ah yes I am also cursed with "Magic hands" seriously every darn member of the family pesters me at some point during any get together. I didn't used to mind at first but my wrists get sore fast. I damaged them to regularly when i was training. No matter how I try to strengthen them it dosn't seem to work. Too much punching the bag without proper protection. Fiona always used to reciprocate and was about the only person who could do it well. No one else bothers, then they wonder why I try and avoid it.

GAH! that knott in my back is still there. One of the nurses I know is trying to specialise in physio. Perhaps I should ask her to experiment on me... might regret it though. Been sleeping pretty stedily the past week, so no weird expiriences. Feel tired. Its been a busy few shifts. Looking forward to some rest.

Meh. Work set me back a bit. Planned to have the final chapter up today but thats not going to happen. Only have a few pages left but I'm too mental drained. I fear it may be effecting things. I'll finnish up tomoroow then start on the re-write. I think I'm going to run it in a one character focused story then a team focused one. Back and forth. I think that will alow me to flesh them all out and give them all an opertunity to shine in some respect. I have a fair few storys in my head, but I have to put them in a good order.

Definatly try to do that with your story. Its strange how insperation can hit you and you can see the mistakes you made previously or even just ways to make it better. Sometimes people need someone to brainstorm with. An old friend and I used to to the same thing with out RPGs we ran. Was amazing how you got in the zone and came up with ideas so rapidly. Would be nice to be able to do that more often. Oh yeah that picture is a little creepy but I was talking about this one. http://www.hauntedamericatours.com/DEMONS/incubus.jpg From reading my Blog I'm sure you know that Kyle's weird expiriences are a sort of dramatized exaggeration of my own ones. The Sleep paralysis and seeing Shadow People. The odd part is I'm sure I must have seen that picture before as it was the very thing I felt behind me when I suffered my paralysis episode. I swear I could sort of see feel out and picture what was behind me without moving. It was a weird sensation, but what was weirder is it was very much like that picture. Wich is an old representation of Sleep Paralysis via a demon visit. Spesificly an Incubus in that picture. I created More Than Human back in 2003. Xan has always been what he is now. So I figure I must have looked for a picture of an incubus back then and maybe stumbled across that.

I generaly see Incubi as being more sinnister. Especialy the old dipictions of them being small goblin like looking creatures that sit on their pray's chest to hold them down. Succubi are seen as a bit more seductive. There is a slight twist that will pop up in the story after this. In my mind Xan isn't treated like a regular member. He holds a diffrent position and even though they can aparently trust him its not something that will ever be wholehearted. They are all know he's a step up the food chain and can very likly kill them if he wanted. He's their weapon so they have to take extra precautions to make sure the Safty is on. Never actualy seen Gargoyles. Its on my list of things I should watch when I get a chance... along with about two TB of anime and other stuff. Always heard it was a good show. May jump it up my "to watch next" list. Although raised as a christian and sent to a catholic school I don't think I ever believed. I'm not sure why. I did however have the stupid notion that everyone (especialy adults) knew what I was thinking if they were in the same room or touching the same thing as me. I always thought I was secretly being judged. Talk about paranoia. Although to be honist I think its part of what gave me my "Be good not for a reward, but because its the right thing to do." attitude.

My back feels really tight day like the muscles are being clamped together. I'm probubly just a bit tence. I miss having some one help me unwind after a hard week. Would kill for a back rub right know. My shoulders have always made an odd gravely noise when I roll them. I think its the tendens and muscles slipping over the bone. Odd as no one else I know seems to get it. Its not like cracking your knuckles. It sounds and feels diffrent. Not painful, just odd. If I relax my mind it'll probubly help relax my body.

That sounds like a really nice idea for a story. I'd definatly like to see something like that. I've always found Mythology to be facinating even though I've a firm athiest myself. I especialy like slight twists to the usual tales. I see what you mean about the conversation. I didn't make that was clear is its suposed to. Xan is indeed angry, partly at his heritage and partly because he knows he will be judged by it. The part I didn't make clear was he's been pushed into this position. He'd have quite likely kept Kyle in the dark. Its Damien's idea to come across as honist. That was Xan's little stroppy "Well why dont you just tell him everything." and revealing what the other know about him. Whether that is whole truth is another matter. I'll try and make that more apparent in the edit. His parentage is indeed rather important. Half breeds with humans are common with some creatures. Succubi and Incubi being the main cross breeders. But in my mind that would just create another one of their kind. Not a cross breed. Its only the fact his father is Dhampir that this happened... and there is a very spesific reasoning behind it that I dont want to spoil too much. I also figure that he can't control his Glamour. Its sort of like Scott Summers. Its on all the time. It can be focused but is constantly firing. I need to make a book of lour for myself so I can refine things and dont slip up or conflict with myself. I also just noticed I left out some key observations and foreshadowing about Damien. Derrr...

Heh yeah that was pretty much exactly what I was thinking when writing it. I was getting painfuly aware of how many "said"s I was using. So your right I had always ment to go back and further flesh out their interactions. I just wanted to get a draft of their conversation out of the way. I can gage their reactions in my head but I'm aware that it dosn't come across so well with just words. I was actualy holding back a little on discribing the sceanery. I was about to go into more deapth but I resisted as I didn't want to bog it down too much... but then again this is a first look so maybe I have too. The reader dosn't see it as clearly as I do in my head. The first chapter is purpusly lapse of much discription save for key points. Done from Kyles perspective he dosn't really care about anything. So he's an unreliable witness as he dosn't look properly at his suroundings. Its only when something smacks him in the face that he actualy takes notice. I should have discribed the car park a little better though. As for Xan its important to note that the others were just introducing him as a Dhampir. It was he himslef that stated there was more too it. There reasons for him not hiding what he is but also its not the whole truth. There is more to it than that. Its just the top layer of his err... mystery trifle. lol! Its only to try and set Kyle at ease by making it seem he's explaning everything. I'm not sure if its best to redo chapter 2 right now or wait till the final part is done and then try and flesh them all out together. I feel I 'd get a better feel doing it that way. Also I'd be more likly to pick up on errors and inconsistancys. But thanks for reading. Please dont think you have to hold back with critisism. I didn't find that too harsh at all (perhaps because its what I was intending) so dont worry about offending me. Its got to get better somehow.

Part 2! http://www.mediafire.com/?xjdo36gmbze3cze Suprising how quickly I cracked that out. The characters really seem to talk in my head. Makes it so easy to write them. This acts more as just a breif intro to the rest of the current cast. Part 3 comming soon.

Didn't get anywhere with the Astral travel this time. I usualy can do it if I'm a certain level of tired. I need to be physicaly and mentaly tired but not so much that I go to sleep too quickly. Just so that I feel heavy and my brain isn't running too many things at once. With starting up my writing again I find that is what mainly occupies my quiet time. I used to get alot of planning and creating done when I have nothing else to distract me.

I know what you mean about names. "Tall man" from more than human originaly had a name that I reused for a guyver fanfic as that character was based on him as well. I was originaly going to rename him as is would clash... but he's the original and it just feels weird to call him anything else. Plus my guyver fic isn't around anymore so I think he will reclame his name. I did actualy know a Chris Thompson in school, but then I knew about five other Chrises... chrisisis... Chrisi? guys named the Chris and we all refused to give up out shortnames or go by anything else. Its the sucky part of having a common first name.

Looks promising so far. Hopefuly posting it will give you some motivation to get back to work. You have a better eye for the layout and how to work up to the finnished peice than I do. I have a tendancy to just think I can draw the finnished product right away. I'll be intrested to see where the story is going so please do try to continue. Also i dont think anyone would make fun of their surnames. I've heard far less plausable names than Nemberson. And Chris is a fine name for a main character You know... not that I'm bias or anything... Keep it up!

Well thanks for reading it, and dont worry improvements are what I'm looking for. It was slightly rushed though. I didn't really plan much of it at all. It just flowed out. Usualy I'd do that and then go over it to flesh it out some more. So this is really just a first draft. While I was writing it I was aware that I was doing it in the style of Kyle. With him as the main character in this i was channeling him more than anyone else. Its all from his perspective. You dont see anything happening with out him there. He's imature, self centred and lazy so I wanted to refelct a little more of that when writing the peice. If it was centred on someone else the tone would likely change a bit. More Than Human would be my comic series if i could draw a hell of alot better. The other storys will apear a bit grittier than this, without the Kyle spin on it. Should finnish off part two by next week probubly. I'll get to introduce the team properly.

This might be easier http://www.mediafire.com/?y63sk3me7gk3p1b

Looks like it pretty much all takes place on this reimagined Thundera. Looks quite intresting. I'm looking forward too it a bit more. Wasn't a huge fan when I was a kid. That fell to Transformers but I did like it a fair bit. Also I'm pretty sure Cheetara was my first ever crush

I signed up with just an email adress. but I'll be able to post in an easier to download format tomorrow.

Hey guys. I was hoping to get some feedback on a series I've started writing. Its original so not based in any universe but the one created by me. It used to be an old Role Play game I ran a few yeard back but I took the concept and turned it into a story. This is just the origin of a new character I'm using to give the reader an into into the world so it a bit slow to start. However expect more shananigins in part two of this tale. Its my first story in a long time so I'd apriciate any feedback you can give me. and I hope the link works... I did sign up to Fanfiction.net but I cant post anything for two more days. http://www.wiziq.com/tutorial/126539-More-than-Human-Shadowfall-part-1

That makes sence. I'm pretty sure I forced it to be her. Its what I wanted the most, but there is also probubly some truth in me seeing her as my soul. I've always had some difficulty takling to people and telling them personal things, but with her it was so easy. As I said no one else ever made me feel loved anywhere near to what she gave me. I was her strength and she was my heart. Not that I didn't have feelings or compasion before her, I obviously did, but I suspect that I gave too much of myself away trying to be a hero all the time. Always jumping in to try and protect some one or standing up against anything I saw as an injustice took a tole and was crushing part of me. I feel she replaced that and made me whole again. She acepted every failing and fault and made me feel like a proper person. Its not something I ever got from my parents. I was always driven by them and never good enough, or they'd push me into doing something then regret it when I used it. I was always hearing about the mistakes they made with me. I know its their guilt but it made me feel like I was just a thing to be trained rather than a person with his own choices. I felt they gave themselves too much credit for my actions. When asked to picture my soul all I see is a figure made of blue flame that is bursting out of control. When I was younger I used to see a rock. It started big and I'd squash it and squash it down to make it hard. Thinking this would somehow make me resiliant. But I think the flame is my emotions now that are no longer repressed, and I'm trying to release them without being consumed by them. Even saying Fiona's name feels like she is living inside my chest. Its like when I used to hold her and wish there was some way I could take her into me and we'd be one. I'll try it again and see who I meet on the bridge this time.