Fear: what scares us and our responses?

[*Chernaudi]

I was talking with Yuki in her blog about this earlier, and I though that it would be a good topic for here for us to discuss.  We can also cite fictional examples, but I'm mostly looking at this from a "human" or "real life" POV.

 

Here's a couple of things that I posted in her blog that I find disconcerting.  One is that I have a fear of crowds and strangers, and the other is some of the disadvantages of living where I do.

 

To quote:  "Oddly, one of the things that I don't have to put up with where I live is a lot of people being around.  And I hope that you didn't take my comment as "the whole human race is worthless because people are prone to acting out of fear".  Most of the people I've been around just keep to themselves and at least try to be as least annoying as possible.  I've frequently been shopping at Walmart pretty much on my own recently and I've never had any serious issues. 

 

I do accept that most people are decent human beings, but it's that one percent of people who like to cause trouble that's the issue.  Either I've adjusted to being more independent and wanting to do things on my own, or my anxiety meds are kicking in earlier than I was told to expect.

 

I'm thinking of starting a thread in where ever the best place for it is about fear.  But I'll share something here.  Usually, there's not much trouble where I live, there's not a ton of people who live out where I do, and almost everyone knows everyone.  But one of my neighbor's storage barns has been broken into several times and stuff stolen.  One thing that you might find disconcerting is the police response.  Not that they're doing a bad job, but that logistics and where we are sort of leaves them with one hand tied behind their back. 

 

Local law enforcement (city police) don't really have jurisdiction out where we live.  Only the County Sheriff's office and the Ohio Highway Patrol (our main state police) have automatic jurisdiction.  I don't know about the Sheriff's office, but the nearest OHP post is about 25 minutes away.  So I guess that hopefully you can see what I mean. 

 

But there's not much to fear out here.  There's no violent crime really to speak of--maybe because in part of firearms ownership in my area being high and criminals knowing that Ohio is a stand your ground state--but it's still a surprise to hear the rescue squad vehicles' sirens going off, because out here, you can hear them from miles away, and it's easy to determine where they're going.  Just an eerie thing that happens around here..."

 

So those are a couple of my fears and how I've dealt with them.  I sort of dealt with those two by rationalization.  What sort of other responses to fears like these or others have we observed?

[Guest snow]

Hey, hang in there. Look fear in the eyes and spit in its face and tell yourself that you're better than that. You're a strong person. Don't let the things that scare you stop you from doing what you want.

Edited April 13, 2014 by Jupiter-Prime

[*Jess♥]

some good points I think. It's good to see some new perspectives.

sometimes it is not a fear of death that is the issue. it is the fear of being in a place where death is welcome. when I fell into despair, it was because I thought about ending my life. that is what scared me the most because I value my life. I have a survival instinct and the thought that I could be the enemy to my own life threw me into turmoil. The main issue here was that I did not see any value in life. it seemed empty and fraught with danger. there was no hope, no ambition, the things i had held to be important were lost. I have a big empty void in front of me. it was similar to depression, but depression is more about when the things you have in your life don't seem important. in my case, I had nothing in my life any more. well to be clear, it was a matter of perspective. a negative situation i had encountered led me to believe that all the things i wanted out of life were impossible. perhaps it was a form of ptsd?  anyhow, I learnt a lot about that kind of fear from that day forwards. I had to basically learn to live with hte idea that i could endanger my own life. these days, if I ever think about self harm, it doesn't bother me too much. I know how to get through it. I know that I am in control of my own actions and I know the steps to take to gain new perspective on my situation,.

reading is very helpful.

an excellent book for this kind of thing is 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.

I thoroughly recommend it for EVERYONE. even if you don't think you currently have a problem,

[Time War Dalek Emperor]

My biggest fear I had was of the dark. For example I used to be unable go to sleep in a pitch black room. Its was not so much a fear of the dark but rather of whats in it.

It just put me on edge even when I was with other people. When going to a big cave system with my family I was freaked out the whole time although I did enjoy the trip. I think the worst time was when I went to this team-building place with some friend from colleague and one of the activities was crawling (literally) through pitch-black enclosed tunnels underground. I was at the back of the group and I was so paranoid of somthing grabing me from behind I had this scary scenario running through my head kind of like this.

I swear even to this day that somthing did grab my foot at one point! Wether it was me being to worked up or if it was a prank by the guys that ran the place I'll never know but that hand got a good kick for its trouble, although I dont reacall hearing a sound when I did and I never told anyone at the time because they would have thought I was nuts. I'm glade I did it though because It realy helped me get over my fear for the most part.

I also seem to have a think about insect and spider, I dont like touching them or vice versa which its strange because I find the facinating.

I did have a fear of dogs, I was bitten as a child but having them as pets seems to have gotten me over that one.

Other then those I dont really have anything I'm truly afraid of outside of the natureul fight or flight response. I'm a rather ditached person by nature and most things dont to get to me. Edited April 13, 2014 by AdolphusStrigoi

[*Chernaudi]

I don't have a ton of fears, to be honest.  I don't like dogs very much, not so much because I'm afraid of them, but because I find them to be annoying, at least compared to cats.  I don't like big dogs, though. 

 

I've always had a bit of fear of weather, and that's in spite of it being something that I've always been very interested in.  But nature can be very destructive sometimes, and I'm very afraid of tornadoes when we have an elevated risk of them.

 

I'm also fearful for my grandma.  She's getting up there in age and hasn't been in the best of shape for quite a while.  However, since she was hospitalized and switched doctors, she's been doing much better since she's been back home.

 

I do have to admit that I also have a bit of fear of being alone sometimes.  I should've mentioned this earlier, but living where I do is a bit of a double edged sword.  I do like that it's quiet out here, I have plenty of room to roam around outside when I want to, and it's usually pretty crime free.  Then comes the fact, that I hinted at in my first post, of what if something does happen?  Being secluded is a big disadvantage there. 

 

Strange thing in this is that I'm actually a night time person.  I always liked staying up when I was younger and I always liked the nighttime hours.  So I don't know how that correlates.

[Guest snow]

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol. Just when its raining and you can hear the thunderclap. Reminds me that Thor is banging on his anvil.

[*Jess♥]

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol.

I heard Einstein was pretty good at maths. how good are you at maths?

just pointing out the contrast between different people's aptitudes.

I'd say you're pretty fortunate to be able to go out like that without having to do the work first.

when some people develop the fear it can be very difficult to overcome it.

you've a gift there dude.

[Time War Dalek Emperor]

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol. Just when its raining and you can hear the thunderclap. Reminds me that Thor is banging on his anvil.

 

Reminds me, when I write my will I must put somthing saying that if I'm struck my lightnng they have to put SHAZAM! on my headstone.

[Guest snow]

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol. Just when its raining and you can hear the thunderclap. Reminds me that Thor is banging on his anvil.

 

Reminds me, when I write my will I must put somthing saying that if I'm struck my lightnng they have to put SHAZAM! on my headstone.

Yeah, It was storming really bad last night and I got nervous and went inside. I was standing out in the rain enjoying the feeling of it hit my head and shoulders and run down my back. But when the thunder started and I saw lightning in the distance and heard the crack as it hit something I went and stood under the porch and than eventually went inside.

I've heard of people who have been hit with lightning and have survived, but it makes them either paralyzed, mute,deaf,blind or it just makes them come off retarded because I guess it fried their brain or something. I know there's been a few documentaries of people who have survived and medically they're a mess. Some people can get hit and be totally fine, they have said its the worst feeling in the world. Like you feel pain in every part,every nerve in your body is just lit up.

I hear its worse than being burned alive. So yeah,that's my fear.Having either God or Thor sending a huge thunder bolt cracking down through my skull and splitting me in half like a tree.

Edited April 14, 2014 by Jupiter-Prime

[*Chernaudi]

Not really afraid of thunderstorms themselves.  Sometimes during summer, when they're really far away, I watch the lightning in the clouds--the so called heat lightning, which is just lightning from distant thunderstroms--but when they get too close for comfort, I head for shelter.

 

I'm more afraid of tornadoes, because they strike at random and are extremely unpredictable.  On days like that, I'm glued to the local radar on my lap top or when any severe storm comes about.

[Time War Dalek Emperor]

 

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol. Just when its raining and you can hear the thunderclap. Reminds me that Thor is banging on his anvil.

Reminds me, when I write my will I must put somthing saying that if I'm struck my lightnng they have to put SHAZAM! on my headstone.

 

Yeah, It was storming really bad last night and I got nervous and went inside. I was standing out in the rain enjoying the feeling of it hit my head and shoulders and run down my back. But when the thunder started and I saw lightning in the distance and heard the crack as it hit something I went and stood under the porch and than eventually went inside.

I've heard of people who have been hit with lightning and have survived, but it makes them either paralyzed, mute,deaf,blind or it just makes them come off retarded because I guess it fried their brain or something. I know there's been a few documentaries of people who have survived and medically they're a mess. Some people can get hit and be totally fine, they have said its the worst feeling in the world. Like you feel pain in every part,every nerve in your body is just lit up.

I hear its worse than being burned alive. So yeah,that's my fear.Having either God or Thor sending a huge thunder bolt cracking down through my skull and splitting me in half like a tree.

Yea it can really make a mess of you, the reason it worse then being burned is because the lightning travels through you whole body (we are 70% water after all) so it burns you inside and out so your fear has some good ground behind it. My grandfather knew a guy who servived getting hit because it struck his watch, lucky or what. I do love watching thunder storms, they one of the best examples of how nature is beautiful and cruel at the same time.

On a side note I love the feel of the rain on my skin to. My family thinks crazy because I take walks or go jogging when it rains.

Edited April 14, 2014 by Waferdanos

[Guest snow]

 

I have a fear of getting struck by lightning. But that doesn't mean when I go outside I stare at the sky and take cover,lol. Just when its raining and you can hear the thunderclap. Reminds me that Thor is banging on his anvil.

Reminds me, when I write my will I must put somthing saying that if I'm struck my lightnng they have to put SHAZAM! on my headstone.

 

Yeah, It was storming really bad last night and I got nervous and went inside. I was standing out in the rain enjoying the feeling of it hit my head and shoulders and run down my back. But when the thunder started and I saw lightning in the distance and heard the crack as it hit something I went and stood under the porch and than eventually went inside.

I've heard of people who have been hit with lightning and have survived, but it makes them either paralyzed, mute,deaf,blind or it just makes them come off retarded because I guess it fried their brain or something. I know there's been a few documentaries of people who have survived and medically they're a mess. Some people can get hit and be totally fine, they have said its the worst feeling in the world. Like you feel pain in every part,every nerve in your body is just lit up.

I hear its worse than being burned alive. So yeah,that's my fear.Having either God or Thor sending a huge thunder bolt cracking down through my skull and splitting me in half like a tree.

Yea it can really make a mess of you, the reason it worse then being burned is because the lightning travels through you whole body (we are 70% water after all) so it burns you inside and out so your fear has some good ground behind it. My grandfather knew a guy who servived getting hit because it struck his watch, lucky or what. I do love watching thunder storms, they one of the best examples of how nature is beautiful and cruel at the same time.

On a side note I love the feel of the rain on my skin to. My family thinks crazy because I take walks or go jogging when it rains.

Sometimes when I get off work and its storming out. Not so much the rain but if its thundering really hard followed by lightning I will feel a little agitated because I normally shower when I get home and I won't shower out of fear of it hitting the pipe line with the flowing water.

Plus my mother always told me to never shower during a thunderstorm, very dangerous. Plus to unplug everything in the house. TV,game consoles, computer,anything electric based. I have a fear that it will tear my stuff up. It happened back in 2007 when I spent the night at my girl friend's house,ex girl friend now, during a thunder storm. Not out of fear because I was more worried about getting a home run that night,yes I was sleeping with a women the night of the storm. Makes any man forget his fears.So I came home the next day after the storm and I discovered the lightning had fried my desktop, plugged in, fried my tv ( huge black spots on the screen and wouldn't turn on) surround sound speakers melted, phones were knocked out and..some of my lamps. So I was pretty pissed that day. I felt like I totally traded off all of my stuff for a sleep over at my girl friend's in 2007. I was so pissed about it. Cost me over $1,500 or more to replace all of that stuff. So I learned to really unplug all of my stuff after that.Once was enough for that to ever happen again.

Edited April 14, 2014 by Jupiter-Prime

[*Chernaudi]

Only time that happened was last year.  Only things that got fried were our internet router, a power adapter and the internet port on my little brother's XBox.  So you can say that we we're luck there, considering that the lightning struck we think the power pole next to our house.

 

I don't really fear lightning strikes, until they get close, that is.  When they start getting close, I head for shelter and hope that they don't strike our house or the power poles near by.  And I do unplug a lot of stuff,  especially my laptop, out of habit.

[Guest snow]

Only time that happened was last year.  Only things that got fried were our internet router, a power adapter and the internet port on my little brother's XBox.  So you can say that we we're luck there, considering that the lightning struck we think the power pole next to our house.

 

I don't really fear lightning strikes, until they get close, that is.  When they start getting close, I head for shelter and hope that they don't strike our house or the power poles near by.  And I do unplug a lot of stuff,  especially my laptop, out of habit.

I don't know what it is about the thunder storms. But it seems the internet connection runs slower after. Every time I've noticed that.Its because he storm causes water to blow into the wiring box on the outside of your house. This water seeps into the wires, and cause the copper to become corroded. This would cause a slow down in your connection to the internet. When your internet is really slow that's why the internet company like Century Link or whoever comes by and swaps it out with new wires and cables.

On the other hand. the elemenents inside of water causes it to be conductive. if water were in the lines ((as in has not corroded the copper) it could cause a short and hence slow down your connection.

[*Chernaudi]

Actually, I mean that it literally got fried as far as the router went, and I had to plink out $50 for a replacement.  Though, we've had problems too with our phone line having a short in it.  It started with construction at near my home, then the line sometimes would get cut because of the half-assed way that CenturyLink had to fix it until they could bury the line (the construction was very half-assed, hence the compromise that CenturyLink had to make), and afterwards we had weird buzzing in the line and the internet connection acted weird.

 

It took forever to get that stuff fixed.

 

But back to the fear end of things.  One of the things that has helped me is the internet.  One of my best connections to people and info here in the middle of nowhere.

[Guest snow]

Another fear of mine is burning alive. Just been burned by hot scorching water right off the stove, hurt like a mother f**ker. I can only imagine the horror of being a human torch. I mean,I think when you inhale some of the embers and it get in your lungs and than it ignites them. Damn,gives me the shivers. Anything to do with over whelming pain or thoughts of torture make skin crawl.

Oh here's a common fear of men, getting castrated. That makes any man groan in fear and makes you have bad dreams. I knew a friend that had fears of this. He even dreamed about it. It was hilarious. But to actually have it happen is something I don't think I could handle.

Edited April 14, 2014 by Jupiter-Prime

[Time War Dalek Emperor]

Another fear of mine is burning alive. Just been burned by hot scorching water right off the stove, hurt like a mother f**ker. I can only imagine the horror of being a human torch. I mean,I think when you inhale some of the embers and it get in your lungs and than it ignites them. Damn,gives me the shivers. Anything to do with over whelming pain or thoughts of torture make skin crawl.

Oh here's a common fear of men, getting castrated. That makes any man groan in fear and makes you have bad dreams. I knew a friend that had fears of this. He even dreamed about it. It was hilarious. But to actually have it happen is something I don't think I could handle.

When i was younger I asked my uncle which was worse burning or freezeing to death (it was to do with a theme park ride, fire & ice I think). He told me that burning was the better of the two because while horrorably painful your nerves will burn to the point that thay you dont feel anything and your more likly to die from smoke inhalation while freezing is a much slower and miserable way to go.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Waferdanos

[Guest snow]

I think both are still horrible, lol. Just makes my skin crawl.

[Cannibal]

My fear is to severely hurt someone in a fight. I always think that I can kick/punch someone in the wrong spot and he will die (or fall and die because of fall). And then I would have problems with the law.

Strange situation about dogs: I can play with them, even if they see me for the first time, but later, when I'm here, sitting in my room without any dogs lol, I think "wth I was thinking back then?! Those huge dogs can eat me, never gonna play with them again".

And also there is a fear I like - the artificial fear when playing scary games like Amnesia.

[Guest snow]

Drowning alive and not being able to breath. Its like you're trying to come up for air, but the more you try to breath,water just goes down in your lungs. That's pretty hellish. Ever been held down in a pool until you start to slip away, I have.Its not fun. But I've always come up before I'm allowed to pass out. Kind of ruins the fun swimming with other people.

Edited April 15, 2014 by Jupiter-Prime

[*Chernaudi]

In light of the severe weather that's going on right now, I used to have a recurring dream about waking up with no roof or upper bunk over my bed, and just staring into a dark, cold, stormy sky.  At least I haven't had that dream in a while.  Just extremely bizarre and surreal. 

Edited April 28, 2014 by Chernaudi

[Guest Jupiter]

That sounds like a great dream. Its been a while since I remembered having a dream.

[*Chernaudi]

Actually, not for me.  It was kinda odd and scary, because I felt totally alone and when I had this dream, I'd become kinda paranoid about something happening to my home.  And it was just odd that I even had that dream.  Unless really bad weather is forecast, I'm usually not afraid of weather.

[*Jess♥]

sounds like in that dream you were completely exposed and vulnerable.

perhaps a reflection of how you felt in your life?

[*Chernaudi]

Not really, I don't think.  It just happened randomly, then kept occurring.  At least I haven't had that happen lately.