Mirabilis, words fail me. You are just punishing yourself. I can't believe we watched the same movie and came away with such differing viewpoints.
***
Kylo Ren cutting his own arm off... I can definitely see him mutilating himself in an effort to strengthen his own control, to overcome the conflict inside himself. Especially after getting pwned by Rey.
Or Snoke might do it to him to punish him and give him more focus at the same time. It's not far-fetched... Yakuza do it when they have failed in some big way. They just cut off a finger, though.
Speaking of Snoke: it's a cinch that his identity is meant to be a surprise, and a sucker bet that the hologram is not his true appearance. Snoke could still turn out to be a female.
There is another theory which might fit in more with the way Star Wars seems to do business. A while ago I considered the possibility that Anakin Skywalker wasn't literally 'conceived by the Force' as Qui-Gon concluded from what little information he had. Most people seem to think that, since Darth Plagueis and Darth Sidious were experimenting at the time with harnessing life force, creating life, through Force manipulation, Anakin's birth was an unintended side effect; like a pearl formed by an oyster in response to an irritant. Personally, I thought it was a lot more likely and poetic if Anakin was simply Palpatine's kid. It might even have been part of Plagueis' plan. Palpatine was also very strong in the Force; if the offspring of such an individual were manipulated by an accomplished Force user who had dedicated himself to his goal, they could create an even more powerful Force-sensitive. Plagueis and Sidious would almost have to have known of the prophecy about the Chosen One who would bring balance to the Force. Why shouldn't the Sith be the ones to produce and control such an individual? Shmi might believe 'there wasn't a father' but somehow I suspect two Sith lords would have no trouble at all to roofie a young slave woman.
Anyway... I think Snoke might be another one of Palpatine's children. Anakin's brother. This movie series is about family - I didn't come up with that, Lucas stated it outright. Palpatine and Vader have a pretty messed-up father-son-type relationship. Perhaps it was more than an example of that type of relationship.