exscaped_pyscho Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 I thought I'd try my hand at the creation of my own character. Not the greatest I'm sure and definatley far from finished but see what you guys think... Subject: Eldest Child of Danu Name: Alberich Hair Color: White Eye Color: Sapphire Blue Height: 6’ Weight: 245 lbs Psychical Description: Alberich a human looking being with vertically slotted eyes. The only other distinguishing feature is his inhuman beauty. However when he feels the need Alberich can shed himself of this imitation of mortal flesh. Changing into the Light of Heaven. A form so beautiful and divine that no mere mortal can bare to look upon him without fear of loosing his mind. It is said that, in this form, Alberich’s eyes glow with the divine light of heaven, his body is aglow with the purest of light and all throughout his body shine the stars of the heavens. Relative History: Alberich is the oldest and most powerful Child of Danu to ever exist. Apparently Alberich was created by the Ancient Goddess herself before her return to the heavens. Alberich was made supposedly long before any other of the Tuatha De Dannan (Children of the Goddess Danu). According to the surviving texts from this time it is said that Alberich was to be the god‘s greatest creation and was to fight in their holy war. A battle that never happened, as the gods left with no explanation or warning leaving Alberich behind. And so Alberich was left to ponder why the god’s discarded him, their Light of Heaven. Like I said far from being done, but this is my first attempt at trying to write anything with depth since I was in fifth grade...god that sounds really pathetic when I write it out. What do you guys think, should I keep writing or give it up? Keep in mind I just wrote this like five minutes before posting it and I was just starting his data file. I picture him being a cross between Alkanphel and and angel complete with wings and all. Quote
Juggernought Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 This should have been posted in the Writer's Forum. As for my view point, i don't think there is nearly enough information and detail on this character to really give a critique on it. Perhaps when you have finished developing it much more it will be ready for thoughts and comments from others. Are you tying this whole concept along the lines of mythology and religion?? Quote
exscaped_pyscho Posted February 16, 2008 Author Posted February 16, 2008 Yeah I was thinking of someone with modern knowledge trying to explain it to a more ignorant person. Just kinda became more religious sounding while I was writing it. It'll be a while before I complete even the basic data file for Alberich. I was nearly done about two weaks ago but my computer crashed and I hadn't backed it up! I was so mad I nearly put my fist through the screen. I was shocked the screen took that strong of a hit without being damaged at all. I wish they'd have had screens as strong at work, then I wouldn't have had to pay for the one I broke . Although in my defence I didn't punch that one, I hit it with a spoon (didn't mean to either) I know what you're thinking 'a spoon yeah right!' but I swear it was a spoon. Oh and I hadn't thought about where I should have posted it, Sorry. I just wrote out that little bit and posted it without thinking. So once again sorry for the miss-posting. Quote
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