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wow! I can't believe how different you look, you look way more feminine ! yeah lust vs. attraction is a big deal I guess , I mean if you find someone aesthetically pleasing then lust can kick in with anyone you like the look of as its purely physical, but you can only be really attracted to someone who 'does it' for you I think, that you are drawn to not just through looks... which would be the realness I assume you want to find eventually. oh and after some search engine entries.... I get why youre doing some of those things now!