Comic WIP: Hardly Serendipitous

[ErutanXiku]

Having referenced this comic in one of my blogposts, I've decided to upload the pages that I have done. Much to my frustration, I drew the first page 3-4 years ago and the rest last year. I was on such a roll, until I hit 'art block'. I'm really annoyed at myself for leaving it so long, but this is one of my most treasured stories and I want it to be given the proper care it deserves...unfortunately this leads me to doubt my ability at every point, and its easier to let it gather dust - I'm a far better writer and I'm thinking that I might just write out all the scenarios I want, get them into an order I'm happy with and then tackle this...I just hope I don't take too long...

| | | | | | |

I completely forgot that I had a PhotoBucket account...luckily I tried logging in before signing up for a new one XD

Anyway, the script that goes with those pages is the following:

000

‘As I lay there, face-down in a puddle, surrounded by trash…all I could think about…was why it had to be him…of all the people in this wretched place…why…?’

001

Set 7 months after 000; alarm clock going off. Chris reaches up and switches it off, going back to sleep and not wondering who set it. An arm wraps about his waist and he places his hand over it, pulling it in closer. A little while goes by when his eyes snap open and he realises that there should be no-one else in his bed. He turns and Max is there sleeping; he makes a displeased noise and huddles closer. Chris freezes in shock, before launching out of his bed.

Chris: What the hell are you doing in my bed?!

Max (groggy): Mh? M’trying to sleep…

Chris: Answer the question!

Max: Don’t tell me you don’t remember (catches Chris’ expression) It was quite…beautiful, you were so powerful and firm, but very attentive and sensitive. You made sure that it wasn’t all about your needs, but mine as well…if you’re having trouble remembering, I could jog your memory…(smirks) Of course not you idiot! I snuck in to wake you up, which was a good choice seeing as you ignored the alarm clock.

Chris: Wha...You set the alarm? Why?

Max: Because you have an interview at 10am. I’ve timed it so that even if you leave at 8.30am at the latest, you’ll still make it on time.

Chris: Interview? I don’t-

Max: Of course you wouldn’t remember, I set it up for you (pulls on his shirt) Come on, it’s been 7 months; time for you to stop freeloading.

Chris: It’s not like I haven’t been applying…

Max: I know, but humour me; I went through all this trouble, if you’re not even going to try, then I guess you’ll have to pay your way some other way (suggestive smile) Now then, I’ll get breakfast ready, you go tart yourself up.

Chris: What makes you think-

Max: I’ll have you pay your way some other way.

To anyone who goes through reading this, thank you and please any criticism is welcome. Let me give some background into the story - this is a drama/slice of life comic the main characters of which are Christopher Thompson (27) and Maximillian Nemberson (24) (please, no judging on the surnames XD) I created these guys when I was 15 and built my own lame DBZ fansite; the original purpose of these characters were to act as hosts for Celebrity Deathmatch-style Fantasy Battles...it didn't last long. Some years ago, I did a revamp of my personal site and decided to revive these characters and since then their world has continued to grow...so much so, that I don't think I can even keep up!

Before you ask based on the sample pages, no, they're not gay for each other - Max just likes to tease Chris that way because the latter is a prude. They don't really hate each other, more like Chris can't stand Max because of the way he is - womaniser/man-whore; extremely laid back...the polar opposite of Chris, who is responsible; respectful and could be considered to hold onto what 'kids these days' call 'old man values' like courtship and believing in 'The One'...though he's hardly pure...he's had at most one girlfriend in his life and it didn't work out. It's because of this that Max enjoys winding Chris up, but after certain events, Chris ends up living with Max and the two sort of start figuring each other out and start developing further as people. There's a whole bunch of supporting cast characters that have their own drama to pull the focus away from these two.

Also, looking at these pages, I may decide to redraw some of them because it looks like for some too much is going on. I'm aware that the style of my drawing changes horrendously, but these were the rough bases - excuse the print on the paper; it's my attempt at reusing/recycling - and I'd touch up and fix all the errors when working on them in Photoshop.

[*Steel]

Looks promising so far. Hopefuly posting it will give you some motivation to get back to work. You have a better eye for the layout and how to work up to the finnished peice than I do. I have a tendancy to just think I can draw the finnished product right away.

I'll be intrested to see where the story is going so please do try to continue.

Also i dont think anyone would make fun of their surnames. I've heard far less plausable names than Nemberson. And Chris is a fine name for a main character You know... not that I'm bias or anything...

Keep it up!

[ErutanXiku]

Thanks for taking a look It's quite embarrassing really, the only other person who's seen this is my brother and the only thing he said was "You know...if this becomes popular, you better be prepared for all the Yaoi this is going to spawn..."

I never know how pages and panels are going to turn out, I mean I start with a clear idea but then, sometimes, I end up redrawing the same scene a number of times, until it's acceptable. I just noticed, seems like PhotoBucket took down page 5...there wasn't anything wrong with it...apart from Max pinning Chris in a very suggestive manner - the guy spares no effort in his pranks

As for the names, I have considered changing them, but then it wouldn't be them you know? I would have probably freaked if you said your surname was Thompson as well - honestly, at that age, I was not creative with names! Though, I've come up with a reason for Max's surname - his dad comes from a well-off family, only he didn't want that life and fell in with a hippy crowd or something, and as an act of rebellion changed his surname to something weird. I didn't mention this, but Max's parents are weird as they believe that having long names leads to success or something, thus Max has 6 and his sister has 8 - they believe girls need that extra push.

I went over my story outlines - I have close to 60 different scenarios to write and tie together - I realised how much of a challenge this is going to be, since it takes me out of my comfort zone with it's level of maturity. A lot of what I've written is based on my personal experience, some with a twist, and it could be said that each character carries some facet of my personality - either displayed or repressed - and so it helps me deal with a lot of issues. It's very personal in that regard, so it adds to the pressure of treating it as best as possible...

[*Steel]

I know what you mean about names. "Tall man" from more than human originaly had a name that I reused for a guyver fanfic as that character was based on him as well. I was originaly going to rename him as is would clash... but he's the original and it just feels weird to call him anything else.

Plus my guyver fic isn't around anymore so I think he will reclame his name.

I did actualy know a Chris Thompson in school, but then I knew about five other Chrises... chrisisis... Chrisi? guys named the Chris and we all refused to give up out shortnames or go by anything else. Its the sucky part of having a common first name.

[ErutanXiku]

I only ever had one Chris in my class, but we had like four different Emma's...

I came across the short stories I wrote in my attempted revival for my personal website (which is down now, since I suck at maintaining it...) Only two of the three stories will be used in the comic, but I feel compelled to place them here as they are part of the 'Work in Progress'

Also, they're old so some elements of the writing aren't part of my style anymore, hehe...

http://www.mediafire.com/?v7w8lpo7b9na5yw

The first short was an introduction for them to my website, and I cringe now that I read it...it's not bad, but I don't write like that anymore...and it depicts who I was back then *glares at self*

EDIT: I forgot to mention, after having spoken to you about it and while you didn't outright suggest anything, I got better ideas as to how I want Page 4/5 to look...I wasn't completely happy with them :/

Edited March 2, 2011 by ErutanXiku

[ErutanXiku]

Hrm...I may take a stab at redrawing a page tonight. I em fee-ling ze erj...(Sorry, phonetic French...)

Then again, a part of me also wants to give writing this as a story a stab. It could work both ways; since I'm not a prolific "artist", I could easily turn it into a Light Novel with illustrations thrown in. We'll see...maybe I could put up a sample of this chapter since it's in the works for script purposes.