Thanks you guys for the critique. As of right now I am working on Episode 2 though it is taking alot more out of me than expected (As it seems I have fallen in love with the main character ).
I have been advised under penalty of pain (Lots of pain) not to answer any questions regarding race, setting, technology, or the Order's Plots. Sorry. Seeing as the 'Dark Lord' has expressed he wishes me to answer questions of the story itself (I.E. "When will you update"? "Couldn't you revise blah-blah paragraph?") then I shall remain quiet on the subject!
As for critique - I love to get it. If you believe the story needs revisions or perhaps the next installment could have something you missed with the last lemme know!
Before I leave I would just like to point out - When I write these stories, they are in the perspective of said individual or event. Thus, the narrator has the same opinions and knowledge as the person or persons within the story. So, don't be surprised with all the "Anubis glorification". That, and I am partial to The Order.