Rules to Surviving Cronos

[river_chaos]

This is a collaboration thread for the community.  Basically, everyone can pitch in rules such as "Stop antagonizing the Lost Numbers" and then have a dialogue explaining why (ex. (Seriously, the rest of us are tired of getting pranked by Aptom.)).  OCs can be incorporated into this, all existing Guyver characters in the official series can be incorporated as well, just keep it outrageously funny for everyone.  Nothing offending, please.  This is meant to be funny, so feel free to post ridiculous rules and laugh your rear off. 

 

 

#1) Computers are for work purposes only. 

 

(Rhia: The computer technicians are getting tired of purging the computers constantly.)

 

(Scott: And Dr. Barcas is getting pissed about the number of Trojan-viruses he keeps finding.)

 

(Grace: Non of us want the Wi-Fi to be taken down just because someone got lonely and decided to fix his problem by downloading questionable material.)

[Shin Mefilas]

2) All post-optimization staff members must use their zoanoid forms responsibly and must adhere to company guidelines.

 

(Tim: â€‹Seriously guys, the lounge on the Level B3 looks like a bomb went off in there after what happened on Saturday.)

 

(Bruce: Oh lighten up man, we were just having a little fun, besides it was Paul's birthday.)

 

(Tim: I don't call all of Squad 7 getting smashed out of their minds and challenging each other to zoanoid wrestling matches "a little fun"!)

Edited October 27, 2015 by Prometheus Guyver

[river_chaos]

3) Imakarum Mirabilis, you are not a zombie! 

 

(Alkanphel: You've traumatized enough of our troops, Masaki.)

 

(Imakarum: It was in good fun!  Besides, it's Halloween, my Lord!)

 

(Rhia: It's a week before Halloween, and a total of 10 Zoanoids and 15 humans are still in Medical with foam seeping out of their mouths.)

[river_chaos]

4) Five Nights At Freddy's is banned. 

 

Sho) I can no longer sleep at night! *whimpers*

 

Mizuki) That's what you get for listening to Aptom, and stop going to bed in your armor! 

[*Kenji Murakami]

5) Ingriam Mirabilis, requisition forms are not to be used for anything other than business purposes. This includes doodling, and folding them into paper aroplanes to throw around.

 

(Ingriam: But they're so boring!)

 

(Imakarum: Let me handle those forms from now on, Kenji-chan.)

[river_chaos]

6) In amendment to rule #4: all jumpscare games are banned. 

 

Rhia) Seriously, now Woferdanoes is pretending to be Slender.  Thanks to whomever introduced him to that (note the sarcasm)! 

 

Grace) Frankly, I'm just to the point of Mega Smashing the next person that jumps me in a FNAF costume, even if it's a Zoalord. 

[river_chaos]

7) Chewing gum is to be properly disposed of.

 

(Rhea: Gaster, being the lazy ass he is, kept sticking gum under tables or on the floor.  All of us got tired of scraping gum off our shoes, so we got together and taught him a little lesson.  While he was drugged to sleep, we all (including the present Zoalords) gathered up all the gum he discarded and stuck them in his hair.  He was sporting a new hair cut for a month.)

 

(Zex-Tole: We got plenty of blackmail material in the process, too.)

[river_chaos]

8) If you decide to have intercourse, please keep the noise level down or take it to a hotel room or your own home. 

 

(Grace: There are certain things the younger generations don't need to hear yet!)

 

(Alkanphel: You're going to be living in a college dorm soon, get used to it.)

[river_chaos]

9) Stay out of the female employees' sweets stashes if you value your life. 

 

(Rhia: Especially if it's that time of the month for us.)

 

(Alkanphel: It's amazing how many idiots had to learn the hard way about how fatal stealing a woman's chocolate bar is.)

 

(Scott: Seriously, I'm a teenager and I have enough sense to not do that!)

[*Kenji Murakami]

10) Defenestration is not a valid means of punishment. Ingriam Mirabilis, this means you.

 

(Ingriam: I only throw the really annoying ones out the window.)

[river_chaos]

11) Alkanphel, stop messing with Rhiannon's books. 

 

(Alkanphel: It's free entertainment to mess with her.)

[river_chaos]

12) deviantArt is banned. 

 

(Rhia: Grace, why in the hell did you show Imakarum and Sho those pictures?!)

 

(Grace: They pissed me off!  Imakarum keeps stalking me like I'll turn on Cronos, and Sho asked if I was inbred just because I'm from Arkansas!)

 

(Rhia: You do know you have a Guyver and a range of weapons to get them to shut up, right? You didn't have to traumatize them with the yaoi fan art!)

[river_chaos]

12) The song "Dare to be Stupid" is banned. 

 

(Alkanphel: It truly is amazing how many idiots there are in the world.)

 

(Rhia: And I thought Makishima was dumb; some of the Zoanoids proved me wrong.)

[river_chaos]

14) Emphasizing on rule #1: YouTube is to be watched on breaks or after work hours. 

 

(Grace: As much as we all love seeing YouTubers' reactions to FNAF, less work done means more to do in the long run.)

 

(Scott: *peeks up from his phone while watching Markiplier*)

 

(Rhia: We're a world military government, not employees working at Duck Commander.)

[river_chaos]

15) For the love of God, stop giving Grace's father ideas! 

 

(Alkanphel: Hamilcar did set himself up for this one.)

 

(Grace: He said that Dad wouldn't be able to get a song stuck in his head by the end of the day.)

 

(Alkanphel: Sure enough, Hamilcar had the Bingo song stuck in his head for the rest of the day.)

[river_chaos]

16) 4Chan is banned. 

 

(Aptom: Mizuki chewed my *** for showing the group this site.)

 

(Tetsuro: With good reason too, you sick ******!  You were laughing the entire time you tormented us with it!)

 

(Aptom: It was only one picture, and Natsuki broke the screen before I could pull up anything else.)

[river_chaos]

17) Don't bother to ask Grace or the technicians how to bypass the firewalls; they're not going to help.  (Especially Grace.  She will laugh in your face and call you an idiot.)

 

(Rhia: We did warn you idiots about this...)

 

(Barcas: Grow up and get back to work!)

[*Kenji Murakami]

18) The Disciple Zoalord Fenghuang is not Lord Yentsui's long-lost daughter, sister, or any relation at all. It isn't nepotism, stop bringing it up.

 

(Fenghuang: Do we truly look that alike, My Lord?)

 

(Li Yentsui: Only insofar as we have similar hairstyles and are both Chinese; pay it no mind.)

[river_chaos]

19) Never mess with the coffee machines unless you are very suicidal. 

 

(Scott: The coffee maker is sacred.  Everyone in Cronos runs on it.)

(Grace: The rookies learned quickly not to switch it out for decaf after Aptom pranked us.  There's a reason why you never mess with it, anywhere, especially when a Smith is working in said building at the time.)

(Scott: Is that why Aptom runs in the opposite direction every time we see him?)

(Grace: *smirks and drinks coffee*)

[river_chaos]

20) Rhia, stay out of Grace's yarn stash. 

(Rhia: Oh come on!  The rec room looks so much better than it used to!)

(Grace: You yarn bombed the Council Room too, not to mention part of the Pillars of Heaven's command post!)

(Rhia: .....I always did say they needed some decoration there.....*sweat drops*)

[river_chaos]

21) Staff, processed and non, are to leave their Nintendo Switches in their quarters while on duty.  Grace has also rigged the NSPC app to shut off all NS consoles in the building if needed. 

(Purgstall: You have no idea how annoying it is to break up a fight over a game.)

(Grace: It's a sad, sad day when a teenager has to use Parental Controls on a group of adults.)

[river_chaos]

22) Grace, roller skates are not to be worn or used in the hallways/command post/labs/etc.  There are roller rinks for that along with skate parks. 

 

(Grace: Then stop making your bases so damned big!)

(Imakarum: Whimp.)

(Grace: Can it, zombie.)