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For people to listen to your story you've got to listen to theirs and understand the point they are trying to make to you. 

The world for the most part is what you make of it. There is a lot to be said for the idea that events and history shape a person but in the end we all have a brain, we can all think and we can all change if we really want to. Fife takes effort, there is no way around it. Everything you work at, study, do etc requires work including family. 

While not being a doormat for your family problems, make time for them and don't lose contact with them. You can make friends anytime, but not family. Your sister will sooner or later try again to make peace with you, they always do. If you let the hurt hold onto you and get over it, it'll stop you trowing it back at her the next time you meet. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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a good quote. I like it.

The good news today is that I paid off my loan on my Toyota Highlander over a span of 6 years. The bad news is I owe the bank $797. 98 in interest and late payments. I feel like they shafted me just a

For people to listen to your story you've got to listen to theirs and understand the point they are trying to make to you.  The world for the most part is what you make of it. There is a lot to b

5 hours ago, Sully said:

For people to listen to your story you've got to listen to theirs and understand the point they are trying to make to you. 

The world for the most part is what you make of it. There is a lot to be said for the idea that events and history shape a person but in the end we all have a brain, we can all think and we can all change if we really want to. Fife takes effort, there is no way around it. Everything you work at, study, do etc requires work including family. 

While not being a doormat for your family problems, make time for them and don't lose contact with them. You can make friends anytime, but not family. Your sister will sooner or later try again to make peace with you, they always do. If you let the hurt hold onto you and get over it, it'll stop you trowing it back at her the next time you meet. 

Thank you, Sully. Things have been slowly been getting better. Normally after a rough argument. My siblings and I cool off after having some space and than we put aside our differences & make up. 

What has always bothered me though is that I am unable to share personal issues and how I feel with my family members. It is much easier for me to open up and find common ground with someone I can confide in outside of family though. My mother and grandparents don't like to hear that I'm having a problem. So I'm unable to get them involved no matter how much I'd like that. They're just not very agreeable.It just causes more trouble. 

So. I'd like to say what is really on my mind. My sister is pregnant. She got pregnant while in college to a man who is my age. She's 18, I'm 30. She confided in my wife. Who told me and made me keep it a secret from my parents and grandparents. In which I did. I kept this secret for over a month before my sister told my mother. Who became very stressed out. What is worse is that my wife and sister told my mother that I knew. I disagreed with their decision in telling my mother because I knew that I was going to be the one my mother harasses and exactly that happened. 

My mother thinks I'm a narc and has never trusted me with any kind of information. Used to when I was a child, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. So I was always telling people things what my mother said. Which bit me in ass later on as it does me today although. I can keep a secret and people aren't always happy to hear the truth. 

I knew my mother is even less appreciative of those who keep secrets from her. Which is where I come in. So she called me....messaged me on facebook constantly. Pleading with me not to tell my brother, whom I hardly talk to. She didn't want him to know either because obviously his mouth is 10 times bigger than my own. 

So this entire subject matter has caused a huge space between me and my family. The part that sucks is that it was never my fault and I feel like people are pissed off at me for no reason. What is worse, I feel like I was thrown under the bus for having been told this information by my wife and my sister and they told my mother I knew causing a huge load of drama....and all my mother and sister have done is gripe and exaggerate it. 

My sister did not get with the man whom she is carrying his child. They hate eachother and I have absolutely no clue why she slept with him. 

Now how the real crap between my sister and I got started was over my opinion. I told her that I didn't think this man needed to know. For one, he's already verbally abusive. She told him anyway causing him to want to start a custody battle. 

I stated my opinion because of my mother's divorce with my father who took my mother to court for custody and it cost her over 15,000 dollars in court and lawyer bills. After my father lost the custody battle he disowned me later on. So I didn't want my sister to go through the same thing. The sad thing is she knows my reasons and just does care how I feel. 

What's worse my sister doesn't even respect me at all. She comes over to visit my wife but hardly acknowledges me or has anything to do with me other than hi and good bye. So this whole thing just pisses me off. I have a hard time ever since staying around her because she's just becoming more and more rude towards me. I would like to continue avoiding her. I almost feel like this whole thing has put a large amount of strain on our relationship.

Edited by Rye
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  • 1 year later...

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
 Marilyn Monroe

Edited by Jupiter
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  • 1 year later...

“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.”
 Douglas Coupland

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