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Jess♥

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Ah, so no matter what the decision is, you won't really end up together? That sucks. Well, for one thing, I'm sure you would do the right thing. Good luck to you rolando.

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ha ha :lol:

you used my old nick name :D

thanks dude.

well she is not my future. I have always known that.

it's instinct. even though we have chemistry, I always knew that she would not be my wife.

I would not wish for it, but I would wish to satisfy my body chemistry.

also, I would wish to help her attain more happiness in her life.

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I know what you mean Kenji, its like all you can do is just watch them suffer, and be misarable :cry:

But as you, yourself said Ryuki, when this is all over it will make you stronger, and whatever happens you always have us. I am sure you'll find someone out there, probably sonner then you expect it. I know its rough and hard, even though I am still a teenager.I know you've had relationships before and that you know alot more then I do when it comes to this stuff, but I myself have been in situations like this. i've already posted it but I know that you'll come out head strong, and when you get to the beatiful oasis when you get through the dessert, everything will work out fine. :smile:

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thanks guys,

oh hey, mirabilis, I had forgotten about that story!

well actually it still seems kinda fitting, but not in the way i originally intended. it's strange how these things work out.

and don't worry guys, I'm not suffering really. well.. not in the way that you probably think.

I mean.. everyone suffers in normal life. but it's not that kind of thing. it's far more profound which is why i don't feel pain.

it's more of a serenity that i expect zen buddhists get.

I am the calm lake. it's just that at the moment, there are no fish in the lake. I need to find the fish.

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i got a 10 day trial on wrath of the lich king.

i started a death knight and the introductory ares for teh death knight is really amazing.

they do some awesome cut scenes! I really enjoyed it, some great aerial missions and really original stuff.

it was great but it only lasted up to a certain point. I find it really odd. they gave me a continuing storyline but once i had joined teh horde, all of a sudden teh story stopped. they left me hanging comletely. there was no lead on into any of teh other storyline that exhist in the game.. it just stopped. and i was standing there thinkking "now what?" so i logged off.

I don't know if there's any point logging in that character again. the gameplay mechanics of teh death knight are pretty interesting, but my motivation has gone. what's the motivation to continue playing? the whole story they set up for me has completely dried up.

i'm not about to buy the game after that. I mean, in my own view, the thing that started off for me is now finished.

game over. cue the end credits.

the only reason to continue is to do quests that i already did before and grind to level 70 to go into northrend.. wheni already have a level 70 paladin that i could go into northrend with. but then what would be the point of that? it's not like there's any major story leading me towards anything. it's just a load of quests to pick up again.

i don't know if i could be bothered.

maybe i'll do some more messing about in northrend with tiraden before the 10 days run out?

or maybe i'll find other stuff to do.

I have some things to be doing for kenji, but due to emotional difficulties i have been unable to do anything constructive.

I think i'm getting past that now though, so hopefully i can get into a frame of mind where i can do some useful stuff :D

here's an interesting thought for you guys.. everything that you feel, wether it be good or bad, is a product of love for yourself.

it may not seem like it at times, but if you unravel your thoughts.. at the very core, you will find nothing but love.

now there's a comforting thought.

does anybody notice. as you are walking along the street, the street lights turn off as you go past?

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wow Ryuki, I must have missed some stuff since i've been gone, or is this still about before? At any rate since your own that topic of love and that sort of stuff I have a question. Is it wrong to take joy and pleasure at others pain and grief? Like if someone that you know personally, a family member or good friend, is having emotional problems, and you feel good about it and am happy? I would think so. Sounds pretty messed up to me, but anyways... about wrath of the lich king, i didnt even get it.

I hate what blizzard started to do. WoW was about the fans, but then it got turned into a money budget. Burning Crusade was made to compete with Warhammer Online, but Mythic delayed its due date to modify it, si blizz quickly made wrath of the lich king to compete with it when it was released last october. I personally really do enjoy Warhammer theres so much more you can do with it, then you can in wow. And its animation isnt all cartoonie, which I hated, it is more realistic. I dont know, but I really do enjoy it.

Oh, and Ryuki, I dont know if your refering to anything new or something that happened a while back ago, but I am happy that you are feeling better about yourself. :mrgreen: The one thing that can destroy a human being is that human beings mind. It can really destroy you and ruin you forever.

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thanks mirabilis :)

i might take a look at that warhammer at some point.

wow Ryuki, I must have missed some stuff since i've been gone, or is this still about before? At any rate since your own that topic of love and that sort of stuff I have a question. Is it wrong to take joy and pleasure at others pain and grief? Like if someone that you know personally, a family member or good friend, is having emotional problems, and you feel good about it and am happy? I would think so. Sounds pretty messed up to me, but anyways... about wrath of the lich king, i didnt even get it.

thanks for your confidence.

well, the way i see it, any feelings you have are not wrong. but if it disturbs you, then perhaps you need to look for the source of why the feelings disturb you and then why you have these feelings.

firstly, it could be satisfaction for seeing a person suffer when they have performed an injustice in the past.. but generally that feeling is quite hollow and not really a wholesome feeling of joy. it's kinda bittersweet.

then if you think that the person is learning a valuable lesson, you can feel really glad because you think that this difficulty they are experiencing is going to really make a difference in their life.

usually if you care for someone and they expereince sadness or hurt, you feel it along with them. it really hurts inside... but a sense of justice can overpower that.

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WoW Ryuki, you must be like a fricken Jedi Master or the WiseMan for Camelot lol. And please dont think I was refering to you about what I said of enjoying pain and greif. I was refering to a family member of mine, I dont like it when my friends are upset, and I am happy that you are happy. :smile:

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ah no worries dude, I wouldn't think that.

am i jedi master? hmmm, I don't know how much i should reveal... :lol:

nah, I just experienced an emotional awakening that was pretty rough so as a result I have read so much stuff about psychology and that in order to adapt.

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when i went to torquay when i was a young boy.

it was wonderful. my mum had won a prize of a good quality holiday and we were given the posibility to travel much further than normal.

in the past, we had always gone about 20 miles to hte north wales coast and we always stayed in a caravan holiday park.

It was always nice to go, we had a bit of money to spend, in the day we would go to hte amusements and play on games like sonic the degdehog and stunrunner.. when we would go somewhere else onto hte beach.. and we would go to hte holiday center it was in hte complex of the holiday park, there was swimming pools, adventure playgrounds and other stuff. we would make friends there and every day we would spend tie with them going to hte pool, going on the beach and having all sorts of fun.

but this one time, we got a holiday to torquay and it was so far way. it was the furthest i ever went from home.

it was about 300 miles or something like that, it was a straight line down, around the estuary near gloucester and onto hte penisula at the south west of the uk.

i think it is closer than loondon in terms of distance but it was further south than london.

it was very warm in my memory.the soil was red as well. it semed like a whole other world.

we stayed in small apartments that were behind the big hotel.

there was even a ski slope there. it was so cool. and outdoor pool as well!

me and my brother stayed in our own apartment and my parents i the one next door, it was so exciting because we had our own key and it was some form of independance for teh first time.

in hte morning breakfast ws included and we went into hte hotel to eat.

i can't remember much else about it but it was so great because it was the highest amount of luxury i had experienced up to that point.

I don't know how long ago it was actually.. it's very vague but i thik it was when i was about 10.

so that would be around 18 years ago.

perhaps dekared can remember more about it?

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It sounds like a very nice holiday; peaceful, and the place you describe sounds very beautiful. I'm glad you had a good time back then. I hope you're having a good one now. :biggrin:

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ha ha, it would be nice if I could do work that realistic!

no that is a photo i took on my walk today.

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Guest DekaRed

to be honest ryuki, it seems you remember more about that holiday than i do. i remember mum won that dressmaking competition, and thats why we went, it was a 2 or 3 day break while she entered the final, and the twins stayed with grandma. i do remember the soil being red, but thats because we played golf, on a proper golf course for the first time, and the divots turned up red, i remember i was quite shocked.

i jus remember wandering around the tennis court, going in the pool with the view of the hotel up the hill, hanging around the club, etc. and yes i do remember the all inclusive meals, they were wonderful.

edit: here are some pics i found, i believe we were in the chalets up in the second pic, top left image, around there i think.

post-3-1230782486_thumb.jpg

post-3-1230782495_thumb.jpg

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That's a really cool picture; it took me a bit of looking to figure out just what it was, at first I thought it was a staircase with salt on it. :redface: It's a very pretty waterfall, though. :biggrin:

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yeah those chalets look like where we were.

i don't remember golf or tennis courts.

good pictures!

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I got a wonderful program today called Inkscape.

it's a vector based drawing package.

I've hooked my tablet up to my computer and plan to keep it there permanently.

this way, I can do some sketching now and then.

I haven't done any sketching for a long while and i want to try and get into practice again.

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Hey ryuki! Your work is awlays impressive and never ceases to amaze me. Have you been working on anything new recently?

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yeah, the new front page for this site :)

I might do some sketching for tales.

been doing work on colouring though.

that's what i really want to concetrate on at the moment because it means i can get some form of an income :cool:

didn't continue with that inkscape thing. or with the graphics tablet. I got frustrated with it way too quickly.

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